Let’s Watch: Eiken episode 1

Hello, it’s Friday the 13th today. not a big as Halloween, but there’s still creepy pasta, and scary stuff.
So allow me to add something scary I saw. Eiken, a Hentai Anime with horrifying breasts.


If you have no idea what Eiken is, you are very lucky.
But that luck’s about to run out now.

From the manga’s Wikipedia page:

“Eiken (エイケン?) is a heavily fanservice-themed manga and anime series created by Seiji Matsuyama. The story depicts the life of schoolboy Densuke Mifune after he is forced into the mysterious Eiken Club, which is populated only by females, several of whom have ridiculously enormous breasts.”

How ridiculously enormous?

Well….

Yeah….It’s not much of a stretch to say I got motion sickness from this

Right, Well on with the show.

It starts off with a close up of a banana peel.

Then we we see a shot of a crowd of school girls with water balloons under their shirts(seriously, they are so round it can’t be anything else)

Guess who’s the main character!


50 seconds in: There is already a panty shot. The panties had a bear on them

This can’t go well.

protagonist bumped into a girl, somehow ended up on top and is groping her: ✔

She’s very busty. Yay! I thought this was gonna get creepy

A protagonist who lacks spatial awareness of his surroundings and is unable to tell the difference between floor and flesh: ✔

The makers of this probably think breasts have the same consistency as a bag of pudding.

Girl is on floor with her legs spread and her panties exposed: ✔

Ok, well it’s still creepy…

Scene cuts to a Busty woman in the sky Riding what I assume to be a rocket pack…

Breast close up: ✔

Giggly breast close up: ✔

Everyone who crowded around the girl on the floor runs away in fear. I’ll assume it’s because disturbing Jiggling which can at best be compared to a helicopter rotor(really, that’s that what the sound effects sounded like)

It’s a mecha. She flew in on a mecha….

Ok, so far, I’d assume this is what Micheal Bay dreams about…

It’s the purple haired girl. She does a jump thing to stand on top of the mech. I wonder how because each beast is about 1/2  bigger than her head.

Ginormous breasts: ✔

Robot grabs protagonist. Purple girl forcing him to join “Eiken” club.

Weak setup: ✔

“Babababa-ba ba ba” music plays.

Uses girl from floor(who will be referred to as bear for amusing mental images sake. Also, I looked at a small poster there’s another red head, so I can’t call her by color) as distraction to sit on protagonist’s head to get him to place thumb print on club roster

A below shot of Purple with protagonist’s head blocking panties.

Purple laughs once(more like a giggle if anything) and her boobs jump up and bump against each other.

Boob physics to make a physicist cry: ✔

Into starts.

Oh..this is gonna be a long thing. I’m barely 3 min into it….

Because when go down, I drag others with me…

The hula hoop bit scares me…

Ok…Pink’s bouncing breasts scare me more…

Good, the into’s over!

Zoom in on small house shack thing on top of a building.

Dialogue that sounds like they’re about to get to 3rd base: ✔

Yellow haired girl is on floor crawling towards protagonist who for some reason as a rose in his mouth. Multiple panty sots are shown.

Ok, so they were apparently playing a weird fortune game about rose dropping…

Panty shot again.

Flashback to past. Many men in martial arts uniforms run across screen. Protagonist’s friends trick him to peek at girls in school changing room.

Flashback ends. Purple sits her breasts on his head

I’ll admit it’s a redundant censor. But it blocks the “line” so it kinda works

It cuts to a shot of the clubhouse.

….I still have no idea what sort of club this is

The Turquoise haired girl is building what looks like a nuclear reactor with a bear called kuma.

Pink hair asks protagonist to help her get a strainer from a shelf. He’s too short to help her.

So I was on the Eiken wiki doing a bit of research. She’s 13…

Purple hair walks in sucking on a banana, and finds pink being lifted by protagonist

“Erotic” eating: ✔

Green haired girl starts crying that no one notices her. She also says she’s a teacher…

Right…

They convince her to help them.

Purple walks in in sucking on a hot dog type thing

“Erotic” Eating: ✔✔

Nuclear reactor is a noodle dispenser…

If you don’t click on that, I can understand. I won’t spare you, but I understand.
Here’s what happens:

Pink tries to peel some ginger…Somehow, by jumping up and down while kneeing herself in the boobs repeatedly

Yep….this is gonna give me motion sickness

Teacher trips on banana peel, and everything goes sparkly and slow mo while romantic music plays.

….

Lots of upskirts happen and the creepy looking bear just stands there. Looking at you…

Those eyes…those cold black eyes…

Protagonist ends up with Pink and teacher at each side, head between their breasts.

The teacher is somehow in just her underwear with her shirt pulled up.

…How?

Cut to school where a train of upskirts passes by

Protagonist goes to apologize for peeking in on bear panties girl. Somehow, rather than being angry as any reasonable person would be says something along the lines of “I wish it was just the 2 of us for that moment”

The 2 frolic in a fountain for a bit. And a panty shot in the reflection.

A girl tackles the protagonist with her crotch into the fountain.

I really wish I was kidding about that…
Also, anyone of any gender who’s gotten hurt there will probably wince at this

Girl sitting on protagonist’s face: ✔

It turns out that she’s bear pantie’s younger sister.
She starts groping her older sister…

Protagonist attempts to stop her.

There is a banana peel in the fountain.

He trips and when he looks up bear panty’s panties are on the ground(well, surface of the fountain)

*in loud Anouncer voice* AND THEY’RE OFF!!
*William Tell Overture plays*

Panties fall of for no reason: ✔

Bear panties runs away crying while sounding like a deflating balloon…

Purple hair shows up while sucking on a banana again

“Erotic” eating: ✔✔✔

Purple tells the girl’s sister to leave and talks to the protagonist.

he tells him to buy her a gift for the girl’s birthday to apologize. He says he spent all his money.

Pictured: Priorities (and panties)

He enters the school’s triathlon type thing to win her a gift.

The announcer girl wears one of the most ridiculous skirts I’ve seen since she’s constantly flashing everyone

The only thing more I can say about this is, I’m having flashbacks to that episode of Ed Edd N Eddy where they try and start a fad with the model train hoops

The first event is a bungee jump flag catch from a skyscraper high building.

I didn’t censor this one because I wanted you to see the fantastic safety harness she has on. And by fantastic I mean nonexistent

Go too far and you’ll crush your skull on a floating platform…

What sort of idiot signs up to do this?

Purple says their team is gonna win

QUALITY ANIMATION

Pink girl catches the flag and somehow does not get whiplash

This looks like… somewhere around 20 time worse in motion

Purple sucks on food again

HOW IS THIS SEXY??? HOW??

“Erotic” eating: ✔✔✔✔

Girl’s sister tackles him again

More nouncer with same ridiculous skirt

Second event is a water slide maze thing…

If anything, It looks like a bunch of coiled garden hoses.

And the announcers say it’s filled with yogurt rather than water…

Bear panties grips the protagonist and they prepare to slide down.
He starts fantasizing about her

Where are her nipples?

Her little sister sits in front of the protagonist and runs his hands on her body

This is a school event. Where are the teachers?? They should be stopping this from happening!

The teacher joins in. Seems like they’ve confused a slide with Bobsledding.
(Ok, so she’s the only teacher. maybe she’s just very oblivious then)

The slide somehow makes the teacher’s pants slide down…

How is that even possible?

And the younger sister has her crotch in front of his face while his foot is jabbed between the bear panty girl’s breasts.

Video quality went down at this point so I had to exit full screen

Impossible ways for limbs to end up under clothing: ✔

In the mean time, purple and the rest of the girls sit pool side. purple is sucking on food again

“Erotic” eating: ✔✔✔✔✔

The announcer says if they stop having physical contact they lose.

Guy starts to enjoy it. Bear panty looks at him and asks herself “[Protagonist] you said you were going to protect me..”

They win and she runs away crying(with her clothes ripped),

If you’re embarrassed of being seen like that in public, the logical choice if of course to, run out side where every one can see you, rather than into the girl’s locker room


and she meets someone who looks like James from Pokemon who says he will protect her.

WHY?? WHY CAN’T THIS BE THE END???

 

The end credits start. I think they’re from another show since it’a tasteful image they’re zooming out of, gatherer than the gigglyness in the intro.

Surprisingly nice for this show


I spoke too soon.

This is what I came back to when I was done saving the last image

There’s an eye-catch with with characters saying stuff for the next episode.

This image alone is basically a summary of the nightmare that is this show

Pink also repeatedly slaps the protagonist with her breasts

Closing thoughts.
My brain hurts…
Ok, I’m not new to hentai and werd fetishes; I’ve seen tings, I’ve read bad fan fics, including “the Pokemon story”. I can understand tentacles, I can understand the groping. But I don’t get the constant eXtreme gigglying from purple and pink. They eliminate any chance of it being moderately appealing, If anything, it looks extremely painful, making me wince at a few moments.
I feel a bit nauseous, but it may be from mostly from the motion sickness the video gave me. I had the same thing happen the first time I saw bad apple and Transformers revenge of the fallen.

Oh, and if you want to torture yourself, here’s the link
Link (And remember, you did this to yourself. )

Link to Eiken Wiki

Link to full size images

Anyway, If enough people comment on this or like the post or just visit this post, I’ll do part 2.
(I’m saying that for my sake.)

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6 responses to “Let’s Watch: Eiken episode 1

  1. this could happen in either two ways: #1 you discover your disturbing perverted side and actually like this show (or manga, oh by the way, the manga is much much worse) or #2 become soooooooo utterly disgusted and do your best to warn people of such evil >_<

  2. Pingback: Anime Net Fix: Kill La Kill | Nerditis·

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