Playstation Network freebies Micro review #1 Don’t Die Dateless Dummy!

Welcome to PSN freebies! Where I pull out my dusty vita, and test the waters for that console’s games!

Turns out the PSN has free games  for the PS vita in the mobile section of the PSN.

Are they any good?

Let’s find out, and if it’s not, be thankful that it’s free.

If only this one was free too…

“I’m and adult”, I say as I giggle at the combined image of the torso and penguin head

DDDD(Not even the acronym sounds innocent….), or Don’t Die Dateless is a game in the simulation section of the mobile PSN store

Right, well on with the game!

Well, the title screen is to the point.

Well, the title screen is to the point

*30 sec of same screen*
I don’t know if it’s loading, or if my system froze

*Start appears*

 

There’s something about her arm that’s bothering me for some reason

Ah, so we’re good!

Credits…..

Let’s wait till the end to see who we praise/was responsible this

“Choose a name”

I had to…

Oh goodness, the music is like a 90s visual novel!!

And already, the game has found a way to make me feel like I really was the protagonist!

Wait….WHAT???

I WANT TO BE A WIZARD.

FIREBALLS.

This isn’t even a choice.

I will pick wizard.

Really, I have no motivation to try and progress through the game seriously now because I want to shoot fireballs.

That…..Or become a  wizard, and summon a succubus…..

You know, because that makes much more sense to me!

*First choice*

Well, it is the morning so it makes sense to take a shower

*A few minutes of playing later*

I forgot how annoying the music got with old games

—-

And the first girl we’ll have to defeat on our quest to become a wizard…

—-

Ok, I think I scared her off by lying

—-
*Goes to class*

Now for Girl #2

—-

Wow….I scare off Girl 2 and this happens

Well, at least he’s not homeless

….I’m naming the next play through “Harry”

—-

*New game with correct choices made*
*Selects go to “gym”*
I have an ab fetish, so it’s off to the Gym for the token muscle girl!

—-

Bad idea.

Ok, that was an action, not an event.

Got +2 stregnth So, that’s something…..

Do I even have a hud for stats?

*Presses buttons frantically*

No….no I don’t.
So what’s the point then?

—–
And just like that, this game lost what little respect I had for it.

 

Ok, so the free games are demos…..

*Sigh*

well, that puts a damper on things.

I’m not angry that they want you to pay for it, but they should have mentioned that it’s a demo in the game info.

Still from what I saw, which is close to 7 min of play time there’s this

Good parts:
Nostalgic (annoying) music
Probably has a system where stats play into game and affect attraction
(“Probably” is the key word here)
art is not horrible, but a bit boring
Bad ends mean you become a wizard
Dialogue boxes well probably surprise you with unexpected responses.

Bad Parts:
no save files
Can’t skip text
No menu or backlog for text
No mute for music

The wizard part alone makes it very tempting, but unfortunately, the cons are too big, and put me off on it
Don’t think I’ll get it, unless I’m really desperate for review material.

Not that likely to happen for awhile anyway.

Closing thoughts
I feel disappointed on this, and for the prospect of the rest of these, but I’ll carry on.
In the end, it’s like a strip club I suppose. Draws you in with softcore porn, and before you know it, you’re told to cough up your lucky $2 bill

—-


….Just how much of the game did they even make anyway??

First in a series of Micro reviews. Next one will hopefully be up next week around Saturday post  11 PM PST

About these ads

One response to “Playstation Network freebies Micro review #1 Don’t Die Dateless Dummy!

  1. LOL XD. First things first, I can’t think about playing Dating Sims on a PSP/PS Vita without thinking of The World God Only Knows.

    Second: is this supposed to be a parody? I mean, the whole premise is basically explicitly mocking the player’s status as a virgin otaku. Considering the average public of dating sims… yeah. I don’t know if this is incredibly witty or incredibly dumb. Probably the second though.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s