We live in a world of DRM. Crappy DRM that means you can’t play a game unless you are online at all times. That punishes you if you are someone who pays for their games legitimately and doesn’t steal them. Where future consoles seem to be built on the concept of DRM. So, its fair enough to say that its not that popular.

Yet we forget, DRM does serve an actual purpose in preserving the livelihoods of game developers who aren’t blessed to be backed by a major company and can work if implemented properly (something the major publishers have no idea how to do.

One such example is the studio Greenheart Games, who intentionally put up a torrented version of the game at the same time as the retail version. The games were identical, except that those who torrented the game eventually got a part of the game where they could go no further.

I see what you did there.

Those people who stole the game even had the gall to go onto Greenhearts own forums and start asking for advice on how to get past that section of the game. Some even complained how unfair it was that they couldn’t beat the game because people kept stealing it. People with no sense of irony it seems.

Go to their website to get more on the story, as they seem like genuinely wonderful people, which is awful when you consider that on the first day of release, over 93% of people who played the game stole it, instead of paying less that £5 (USD 7.99) for a DRM free indie game company that even offer a free demo.

Seriously guys. Sometimes as gamers we suck.
Source: Greenheart Games

After a long day of hunting down enemy Orcs, an Elf can look forward to a beer by the campfire. But the question remains, will that beer still be cold in your Coleman’s Chest of eternal Frost? That spell has been acting wonky of late, and things tend to melt in it after 12 hours or so.

Now A SOLUTION!

Even a mildly chilled beer can be enjoy through the power of the Chillsner. It was designed to fit any standard 9″ long necked bottle, it looks like an Icicle which slips down into your beverage. and it wont fully defrost for at least 45 minutes. I can’t remember the last time a beer has lasted me 45 minutes around a campfire, as I regaled my friends with my tales of that days Valor! It’s like having your wizard stick his wand of freezing directly into your bottle, without the homo-erotic subtext. cough cough not that there is anything wrong with that, it’s just not the way this Elf swings.  cough cough….

here’s the video explaining all the ” Magic”

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2328902/New-gadget-keeps-bottles-beer-cool-INSIDE-creates-airtight-seal-stop-drinks-going-flat.html

You can get 2 Chillsners for a measly $29.95 . and by the time it warms up you probably won’t care you only have slightly chilled beer to drink from your cooler. It goes on sale this June.

Welcome to the second edition of Heroes Revisited, where Ian Austin and I watch the first series of the NBC show Heroes, to see how it holds up now we are in the age of superhero films being common place. We’ll discuss and review an episode a week and it will be posted up on Thursdays. There will be rude words involved. Most likely lots of them.

Ian: Thoughts on Heroes. Its takes a lot of time to ponder how mediocre this episode is.

Reece: It gets better in later episodes. That I remember.

The lack of budget is pretty apparent. Combine it with the Lost trend of stretching out a story as long as possible and it can get awful. Perhaps after the series has finished we can do a recommenced watching guide, listing the episodes worth watching (though thats a long way off yet).

Ian: I’d say just collate these into an e-book then charge people £2.50 and 7/10ths

Reece: Ha. Ok, it’s a plan. It will help pay for the permanent damage the series will do to me.

Though I only accept payment in guineas!

Ian: OK LETS DO THIS!

Reece: So, Ian, second episode of Heroes. How did you find it?

Ian: Disconcertingly dull.

Reece: Aye. If I remember, the episode was shown back to back with the pilot when it originally aired, so I think thats how it got away with it.

So, the episode opens with a reminder that peter is an idiot.

Ian: I can’t believe I liked his character at the time. In retrospect, he’s horrible. Just horrible. Building to the bit at the end of the episode where he’s yelling that Nathan is telling him he can fly to deflect the subject… WHILE HE’S FLYING!

Reece: Yeah I know. What I think is somewhat dickish in retrospect is that peter wakes up in hospital and his mother says hes suicidal for his actions and yet

BIG SPOILERS

She has powers herself, so she knows theres every chance Peter could actually fly!

Ian: I can understand that – he almost dies flying, you’re going to tell him he’s got superpowers? He’s a walking, talking calamity!

Reece: I hadn’t thought of that. My good nature means I keep assuming (despite evidence to the contrary) that people in this show aren’t idiots.

Ian: She stole socks, let’s not overestimate her intelligence.

Luckily, Niki was dumber than Peter this episode. Possibly the worst female character introduction ever continues, as poor Ali Larter fights for pathos the character is too terrible to merit.

Reece: Yeah. Though I suppose waking up amongst two corpses spread liberally over your garage would rattle most people. I’m willing to give her the benefit of the doubt this episode because I know that if all this weird shit started happening to me I would be pretty confused and hysterical too.

Not sure I would walk around with a face that says ‘I AM AN ACTOR SHOWING I AM CONFUSED’ all episode, but you can’t have everything.

I think I’ve discovered Micah’s super power though. Its ‘super sleeping through your mother burying corpses’. Is there a term for that?

Ian: I think now that we’ve seen The Hulk done so well (the one shining spot of The Avengers) on film, it’s tough for me to sympathise with a woman so ineffectual that everything interesting she does takes place off-camera.

As for Micah, he probably watches Heroes dailies!

Reece: Dailies?

Ian: Recorded footage that most productions playback at the end of each day to start figuring out edits/reshoots.

Reece: Oh ok. Well, if theres someone deserving of being able to view meta footage, I think Hiro deserves that.

I’m finding it hard to find Hiro heroic at all. Despite his ‘heroic standards’, he steals a comic book, which leads to a chase scene which is really just a Hiro running scene.

Ian: Pretty much. I may hate Big Bang Theory with a white hot rage, but compare Sheldon to Hiro, and Sheldon comes out favourably. I think Hiro has some underlined mental health problem, but they don’t address it and play it as ‘cute’ that he’s stumbling into situations and carrying out criminal acts inspired by his love of comic-books and Star Trek.

Ignoring that X-Men consists of persecuted individuals who don’t want their gifts and that Star Trek is an inherently moral program.

Reece: Well he does seem to be awfully immature for his age (I’m guessing mid 20s?). I know nerds do tend to geek out at times and do stupid things, but he seems to have never actually grown up one bit.

Though considering his family, I suppose that may be the case. I’ve met some incredibly immature rich kids.

Ian: Hes 26, I think.

Reece: Ok. Well perhaps the writers thought by starting him off as a ker-azy Japanese man child there would be more room for character growth.

Ian: I guess so. Man, Heroes hasn’t aged well.

Reece: We’ve missed out on Issack and Matt’s storylines so far, so shall we cover them?

I suppose Issack purpose this episode is to be a literal framing device as hes setting up the plot for the season.

Ian: Isaac repeats what he did last week, and is given a selfish and needy ultimatum by Simone which was hilarious in how redundant it was. ‘Stop trying to save the world, or I’m leaving!’

And as he gets his head cut off, I’d say he’s not dying any time soon… making him right. Again.

Reece: Well I mean, we first see the big explosion that he draws, thats the driving force of this series.

Ian: That and Hiro’s trip to the future. Which is a nice way of showing early that Heroes time-travel is not linear, and in fact makes less sense than Back to The Future.

Reece: Ha. I quite liked it. The episode played Hiros trip as occurring at the same time as everyone elses, which made the reveal that he was 5 weeks into the future a lot more fun. Yet it was there in the details if you looked.

So hats off to the production staff for that.

Ian: Shame the attention to detail wasn’t in Isaacs comic. His full address was included.

Reece: Hah! True! Since when has that ever been common practice? I mean, I know Issac is a junkie and so desperately needs cash for his habit, but theres stupid and then theres ‘Oh I live here, please come visit me fan/stalker/man who will cut my head off’

Ian: Not to mention how does a heroin addict write, draw, ink, letter and publish his own comic each month?

Reece: I don’t think even he knows that. After all, he can’t remember drawing any of the future stuff he does when hes high. So I’m guessing he does his comics in the same state.

Wait, how did this guy ever manage to make a living off of being an artist? Only his future paintings sell and thats the only way he can draw, yet he was clean for a while so he must have been able to draw the future without being an addict.

My head hurts.

Ian: Theres magic up in this bitch.

Reece: Ok. Just checking.

So now onto Matt’s story?

Ian: I wish the show’d just go full crazy and have fun with this stuff. Instead we get Matt at a crime scene.

Reece: As a traffic policeman who sucks at his job

Ian: The show really goes far down the cynical side of superpowers. There’s no ‘upside’ so far to having them.

Reece: True. I mean, Matt uses his powers for good (whilst the effects team show off their abilities again- frozen head with top cut off- nice!) and gets arrested for it, even after using it to save a little girl!

Ian: Because he did it like an idiot. Guy walks in, finds the girl, with no obvious logic behind it? Heroes has characters do good things in stupid ways.

Reece: I suppose. But then he only gets arrested because he manages to pick the word ‘Sylar’ out of someone’s head when he reads it. Otherwise, everyone would of been happy to let him go.

So I think everyone in the Heroes universe is stupid. Hence why Nikki’s alter ego has been able to kill people on a mass scale and have no-one figure it out.

Ian: Linderman’s probably covering that up to be fair. That maniacal Englishman!

Reece: True. Reminded me of one of the few good points about the episode. Linderman is being set up as some sort of big player behind the scenes already.

How can one series get the background details right but get the characters so wrong?

Ian: It takes talent. I mean they’ve set up where Claire’s going perfectly, and Hiro/Isaac… but Mohinder’s floundering with the most obvious ‘mole’ ever.

Papa Suresh… Jesus!

Hi, I’m attractive and have a gun- tell me all your secrets!

Reece: Haha. Yeah. After his altercation with the man who came to fix his telephones and then kill him, hes happy to drop his suspicious nature and start telling his innermost secrets to a complete stranger.

But then, I suppose he may just be happy to have someone listen to him with interest in their eyes. We saw in the first episode how much his students and faculty members cared about his research.

Ian: And how his Dad named a Lizard after him. Not really a compliment – ‘I’d love you son, if you lived in your own filth and never spoke back to me.’

Reece: Well, don’t we all have difficult relationships with our fathers? It’s just taken up to 10 because SUPERHEROES

Ian: I’m tired of superhero stories having ‘Daddy issues’. You know who had Daddy issues? Luke Skywalker. And he didn’t cry when he got his hand cut off, he kicked his Dad’s ass… and then told the evil Space Pope to go suck a lemon. Bad. Ass!

Reece: True. But that again is a different type of fantasy. We do forget that Luke moped a lot, its just that having his hand cut off and nearly falling to his death focused his priorities somewhat.

Mohinder has this father he tried to please his whole life but who never appeared to care for him. He’s looking for closure more than anything else (hence why he’s devoted his entire life to his father’s research- went to America to get his ashes etc) and it’s the one thing he can never have. Which is a relatable human issue.

Of course, this is all assumed subtext on my part. The episode covers none of this and just prefers to have Mohinder swing between wildly naive and angry.

Ian: Bah, Luke’s parents were burned alive… and he ran across the Galaxy with two robots and a paedophile. He had it worse than any of these whiney, mopey losers.

So did Tony Stark. And Steve Rogers. Difference is they were heroic.

Reece: Perhaps the show being ‘realistic’ means people aren’t allowed to be heroic. Not without it biting them in their ass like it did Matt.

Ian: Pretty much. Which is a terrible mission statement, but TV was ashamed of superheroes back then. Only recently with Arrow that they’ve been pro-active.

Reece: I haven’t watched Arrow so I can’t comment.

But overall, I think we both agree this episode was a bit of a drag. Things happened, yet I couldn’t care about them one bit. I actually had to watch the show twice as I had switched off halfway through my first viewing!

Which is a shame, as there was some great world building and setups that will pay off later in the series, all going on behind the scenes of people being really boring.

We get a hint as to what Peter’s powers may be, we see the first of many double helix symbols. The name Sylar gets dropped in there as does Linderman.

Ian: I think the problem with TV is their world building takes a year… or you can buy Ultimate Spider-Man and the world is set up in one issue.

Reece: Well I think it was an issue with mid 00s TV in general. Lost set the trend and because it was popular producers and writers started thinking it was ok to drag an 8 episode story arc out over 24 episodes.

Meanwhile shows like Dexter were getting seasons done in less than 12 episodes in a much tighter, focused way.

Ian: And Heroes still moved quicker than Lost. Amazing!

Reece: Well, only because they planned to have story arcs limited to a season. Lost had no such limitations placed upon other than “make us a shitton of money”.

Ian: And there’s the time to end. That was somehow even duller than “Genesis”

Reece: It was. You can tell an episode is dull when you start wondering off topic so much.

Favourite character and score?

Ian: Isaac again. He somehow paints, overdoses, but publishes his own monthly comic. Amazing.

Reece: I’m going to go with Nathan, for just being level headed and putting up with Peter. I know I would have pushed for him to jump again, without the save this time. Pity vote goes towards Matt for just having life take a crap on him repeatedly, yet soldiering on regardless.

2/5. Good world building, but terrible, terrible writing.

Ian: 2.5/5 because Ali Larters hot.

Reece: Next week on heroes!: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

So what did everyone think? Let us know in the comments below. Next week we review episode 1.3, “One Giant Leap”

Feel free to join us- bring lots of booze.

Ian Austin is a writer on the internet. He’s written for countless different projects including Reynard City, Death Boy- his own take on the superhero genre, and currently writes OMGLN. He really wants to someday write a DC comic where Blue Beetle and Hawkman team up for space adventures and terrible punnery.

Reece Morris-Jones is sort of starting out in the whole writing on the net and is still feels a little like an impostor. He mostly writes for Nerditis, though there are a few upcoming projects that may bear fruition. Follow him on his blog Braindroppings as he combats first world problems and tells you about eclectic music

Robin-1234, by Tharkon

Dog Alien finds a Weyland Yutani Experiment Lab on Fiorina ‘Fury’ 161.

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Why Figure Photos of the Day?

Microsoft finally revealed it’s first New Xbox console since 2005. It is meant to be a total entertainment system. Not just for the extreme gamers anymore.

A while back Microsoft purchased Skype, and  it has been completely integrated into the system. Not only for gaming but watching movies as well. So you can pull a Mystery Theater 3000  with your friends during a movie and never have to leave the comfort of your own individual living Rooms. Or Grandma can call you up on her Xbox 1 snipe your sorry ass in Call of Duty and Teabag you all while reassuring you the you are her favorite grandchild.

It utilizes the Xbox Kinect on new levels as well. With a swing of your arms you can grab your current screen virtually and move it aside, revealing your homepage. Very Tony Stark Tech-esq. And you can just as easily return to your movie or game by pulling it back on the main screen.

The New system unfortunately will NOT be backward compatible with any 360 games.

1) The design seems a little mundane, Microsoft calls the outer shell “Liquid black” but in reality it’s just a mix of matte and gloss black finishes.

2) The controller remains unchanged for the most part cosmetically at least. The chunky battery bump in gone and the New remote has a new directional pad and vibrating  trigger buttons, which can pulsate in tandem. Like a characters heart or a revving Sports Car.

3) Surprisingly the system works together miraculously well (in demo’s at least) Everything is intertwined software and hardware.  For example it can tell by using the Kinect’s face recognitions software when a player has switched wireless remotes. And adjusts accordingly.

4) Xbox 1 will NOT require a constant internet connection. Although key features might not work altogether well without one.  The Kinect system comes with the base console. And beware of the privacy settings as the Kinect Camera with Always be  watching you, waiting for commands. That could get uncomfortable if you enjoy playing Halo in your boxers. Maybe not for you but probably for everyone else watching you.

Only time will tell if Microsoft can deliver the Sun the moon and the stars in this package, if windows 8 is any indication I’m not holding my breath, but I am hopeful.

Source: http://www.cbc.ca/news/technology/story/2013/05/22/technology-xbox-one-review.html

and NPR morning edition report.

Hey, did you know that Predator was originally supposed to be a sequel to Commando?  This does explain why Dutch Schaefer looks almost exactly like John Matrix…

Alan “Dutch” Schaefer is the leader of an elite team of ex-military mercenaries.  When they are hired for a routine rescue in the jungles of Val Verde (the same country from Commando!), little do they know that they would be stalked by an extraterrestial killer, hunted down until only Dutch remained to try to fight back.

NECA has expressed a lot of concern over making any of the human characters from the Predator movies, as it might be hard re-use pieces, and they could be slow sellers.  Dutch is the only one that seems safe enough for them to try for now, and we are going to get four of him in two figure waves, based on his varying looks throughout the movie – much like a female anime character, Dutch gradually sheds his clothing as the movie goes on.  This outfit is arguably one of the two most iconic from the film, with the other best being a vest with no shirt.  Those two are almost interchangable, with the other two Dutch figures looking quite different.  I managed to find one of these guys in Toys R Us, so let’s have a look at him!

PACKAGING: ****

Like all Predator figures, Dutch comes in a big blister pack with info on the character, some artwork, and photos of other figures in this release wave.  Like all Predator figures, it’s just fine.  No complaints here!

SCULPT:  ****

Arnold Schwarzenegger has a history of not licensing out his likeness to toy makers, resulting in strangely sketchy figures, like McFarlane’s Terminator toys.  NECA was able to secure his license for Terminator and Conan the Barbarian, so it’s natural that they could snag him for Predator, too.  And this sculpt is pure Arnie – it’s got everything from his heavy cro-magnon brow to his oddly pursed lips!  His face perfectly captures how young he looked back then, and it’s almost eerie… or maybe that’s just me talking becuase I have so few photorealistic human toys.

The rest of Dutch doesn’t disappoint, either – his arms are the same big, beefy, veiny, muscly tree trunks we have come to know and love, and none of his proportions are exagerrated – he may look scrawny next to He-Man, but it’s Arnold Schwarzenegger!  Awesome!  His uniform looks great down to the tiniest fabric wrinkle, and is a mixture of plastic and soft rubber depending on the article of clothing.  He also has two very loose holsters on his hips, so he can hold some of his weapons.

I can’t really find any complaints about this figure’s sculpt – it’s awesome!

PAINT: ****

Even though it has a four-star rating, there are a couple of things about Arnold’s paint job that bother me.

The first thing is his skin – it’s really tanned, possibly a little sunburnt.  This is perfect, but it might stand out as odd until you get a good look at it.  His body is also sculpted from flesh-colored plastic, which works a LOT better than merely painting it that way.  Great job, despite the dirty/muddy/sunburnt look!  Which, again… kind of fits.  Dutch has been running through the jungle, not sitting in his living room.  He’s not going to be as pale as I am.

The other is that, when you view his facial paint from under a microscope, the camo apps look a little spotty, like newsprint.  This is also not a problem – in fact, to people with normal eyes, they are awesome!  Same deal if you have good eyesight, too.  His face is great, with no particular details standing out as bad or overdone – and NECA even remembered to color in his surprisingly pouty lips!

The uniform looks great, without any slop that I can think of.  His flak jacket is green, though it shows up as black in most promo pics… but it’s also green in the others.  It depends on lighting, which is just fine.

ARTICULATION: ****

Sometimes I get tired of handing out four star ratings.  So here’s another one!

Dutch has a ball joint head, wrists, and ankles; ball-and-socket head shoulders, elbows, hips, and knees, and an ab crunch.  These are pretty standard, but NECA did a good job with each of them – you can put Dutch in any of his movie-specific poses, or just have him do kung fu, run-and-gun around, or cartwheel… all with the same dead stare and surprisingly pouty lips.  The big thing is, you can pose him so he holds his pistol in both hands – VERY few figures can fold their arms in enough to do that!  Certainly none of the Predators can!  Dutch’s range of motion is excellent, and none of the joints feel particularly loose yet.  He can also stand in just about any pose, for which I am grateful.

ACCESSORIES:  ***1/2

AH-HA! A MISSING STAR!  well, a half a star…

Dutch is missing his big “Steek Around” machete, but that one comes with another figure – and besides, by the time he stripped down this much, he didn’t have the machete anymore. That’s not the problem.

Dutch has a movie-accurate M-16 with a grenade launcher, which fits perfectly into his hands or slung over his shoulder.  It’s pretty much his default for posing.  He’s also got the aforementioned pistol, which buckles into a holster or fits great into his hands.  And finally, he has a knife – you can put the knife in a sheathe, or try to get him to hold it… but Dutch can’t hold his knife.  It’s just too tiny for either hand, and it took me a lot of work to balance it to it stayed in for a photo.  That’s the half-star loss – so he has a knife, but you can’t do anything with it!  That’s too bad (the machete would have been fun, too).

VALUE:  ****

This guy will run you about $17 at Toys R Us.  So he costs half of what a He-Man figure would.  Awesome!!!!!!!  On-line, expect to pay about $25, which is still okay for this level of detail.  He-Man can barely afford a flat matte paint job, whereas this figure even has paint on his surprisingly pouty lips!

THINGS TO WATCH OUT FOR:

Nothing comes to mind, though I’d advice comparing the paint if you have a choice.

OVERALL:  ****

Awesome!  We’ve waited many, many years for a proper Dutch Schaefer, and… well, he’s here!  Though granted, the shirtless one might be more your style if you want to imitate those photos, that’s coming, too.  And a muddy Dutch.  Having four like this might not be too good for individual sales, but it’s awesome for the fans and their power of choice!

WHERE TO BUY: 

Go to Toys R Us while you still can!  And if not… well, troll the internet for a good price.  He’s definitely worth it!

So, ya know, if you want to watch the film without knowing anything don’t read. Because we spoil from the get-go. But if you’ve seen the film, or don’t mind spoilers, then hop on little buddies. Also, strong language!

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IAN: So Iron Man 3. Possibly the weirdest superhero film tonally since Ang Lee decided that Hulk was best realised as a Greek tragedy.

REECE: Ha. I suppose it is, but then I’m used to reading small weird comics. I agree, for what we are used to in superhero films, this one is sort of all over the place. I think that’s just Shane black being Shane black though.

IAN: It’s such an interesting film because on the one hand, there’s a LOT I like about it. Lots of chances being taken narratively. And yet, it feels like it’s stuck in two worlds. Shane Black world, and Marvel Studios world. The worlds just never mesh the way they should.

REECE: It is a departure from the shared universe concept they had been building towards pre avengers. There are small nods to the expanded universe sure, but I think Marvel perhaps a bit too lenient with Black after the exposition overload that was IM2. I mean there’s toning it back and then there’s making IM exist in some sort of pocket dimension. I think there were other considerations during the film, such as if RDJ would actually be coming back or not.

IAN: That’s the problem with a shared universe – logically, when the US President is in danger, Captain America would go to help out. That’s not something you can shrug off. Cap’s not someone who can be aware of something and not help out. We know why he won’t (schedule logistics, Stark needs to be the hero etc)… it’s just that those decisions negatively impact the logic of, as you put it, a shared universe.

It feels like a perfect night to dress up like hipsters And make fun of our exes, uh uh uh uh. It feels like a perfect night for breakfast at midnight. To fall in love with strangers uh uh uh uh

REECE: Well I suppose we can’t really expect that. As much as the films are aiming to take some inspirations from the marvel universe, we have to remember it’s still a film. Plus, I’m sure in the comics there are plenty of times when Cap has been off world or undercover so he can’t save the president. It may even be explained in the winter soldier film a slight bit when it comes out.

IAN: It’s the inherent flaw with a shared universe. That said, overall it’s a pretty decent film. It tries for greatness and fails, except when Ben Kingsley is on screen. He surprised me by stealing the entire Marvel Universe and holding it ransom with a genius performance.

REECE: He and guy pierce were the best parts of that film. Kingsley as Trevor/The Mandarin and Pierce was just enjoying being this slimy businessman. I mean, the scene with Trevor watching football had me cracking up.

IAN: Everything about that character was brilliant and audacious and a great way to use theatricality and deception against the audience. After the Red Skull and Loki being villains straight from the comics, we get a Mandarin playing on the audiences expectations… and shattering them.

“You’ll… never see me coming!”

REECE: It was a smart move on the films part, even if it has led to a bit of a backlash. It does have me wondering how they are going to handle a Doc Strange film though. The cinematic universe has been very careful to dodge ‘magic’ calling it just advanced technology (like in Thor) and they went for the usual bank of ‘techno villain’ in IM3. So how they will manage a person who casts actual magic that you can’t dodge around in anyway, will be interesting.

IAN: I don’t think Marvel’s against magic, so much as they were wary of having a Chinese man who was skilled in magic and played into stereotypes fighting against an American futurist. Doctor Strange, likely, will be an introduction into magic. There’s no need to set up magic exists before you set-up the one character who’s story revolves around it.

REECE: True. There’s also the Chinese market to worry about. You don’t a film like that saying ‘Chinese people are terrorists’. Did you hear about the extra scenes the Chinese release had?

IAN: Yep. Nothing of consequence. And yet absolutely ingenious in making the film ridiculously successful in China. Brilliant. Like The Avengers, not what I’d do but undeniably successful. Of course, as good as the twist was it DID lead to a third Iron Man film where he fights a fellow businessman.

REECE: Well, that’s sort of Iron Mans stick isn’t it? Even the modern comics, when he’s not off battling some two bit super villain or a part of a larger event, most of his plots involve him fighting another corporation both as Stark and as Iron Man. Historically that was what Marvel lumped him with too, though of course in those days it was whoever was a part of the USSR that month. So I have no problem with that. But then I haven’t read enough IM comics to know his history well.

IAN: It’s a fair point – but the lack of diversity is worrying. You watch the Nolan films, and Batman never fights the same type of villain twice. Iron Man’s rogues’ gallery isn’t inspiring, granted, yet it seems like there’s not much creativity in differentiating the villains. Thor, oddly, seems to be doing it right. Frost Giants, Loki, Dark Elves, there’s a sense of diversity and intrigue. Each villain takes a different strategy to beat.

HAMMER TIME!

REECE: True, but that’s all the same type of villain, in this case something with a mythological basis. But that’s comics for you, put the magic guy against magic, pit the guy in armour against other guys in armour. And in films they always end up in a big fight at the end anyway. That’s how most people like their supers. Though it did sort of suck any tension out of the film when Tony called a bazillion Iron Man suits to his aid in about ten seconds, out of a literal hole in the ground. Also made you wonder why he didn’t do that earlier when he was trying to fight someone who could punch a hole in his head with kitchen equipment.

IAN: Because the crane hadn’t picked up the foundations, I think. And I get what you’re saying; it’s just that Tony’s villains seem to have no personality differences. They want to destroy Tony. That’s it. There’s no goal except for that. And Guy Pearce turning into Wesker from Resident Evil at the end was just awful.

REECE: Ha. I sort of liked it in a way. It was nice to see in a superhero film just a stupid villain with superpowers, where every other film is trying to make their villains the new Joker from the Dark Knight. Still, I can see why it would be a disappointment. Pierces character certainly was a bit one dimensional and I’m not even sure if his plan is actually ever explained properly. Like the doctor who is working on extremis and extremis itself, they’re not really fleshed out. Not that I really noticed much whilst the film was showing. I was enjoying myself. But those niggles stick in mind now and I think it would have just taken an extra line here or there to solve those issues.

IAN: The problem I have is that Pierce is a brilliant actor who hasn’t done a superhero film prior to Iron Man 3. So you’d figure if he was doing one, the villain would be great and memorable. But it’s not. And for that I blame Marvel being so against superpowers that when they introduce them here via Extremis, it’s just terrible. And by superpowers, I mean ‘playing it pseudo-realistic.’ Trying to ground everything. It means that when we get full-on fire based powers, they don’t fit in with the world at all. Especially given Iron Man’s a tech-based character. It feels jarring for him to fight Flamey Flambe Man!

FLAME ON!

REECE: Well I took it more as another arms race. Tony Stark has always has to upgrade his armour to be able to stay ahead of those who want to kill him. This film features literally two strains of human potential and ingenuity fighting off against one another to see which will come out on top. I think with the flame thing you just have to roll with it. It’s a given very early on that extremis is just ‘magic’ and you have to roll with it.

IAN: An arms race implies competition. Tony’s ludicrous ‘I can fix that’ says it all. I get he’s smart, but it seemed strange to all but say ‘I am a walking deus ex machina of intelligence.’

REECE: But then there was a lot of that. A lot of superfluous things in the film. It’s an example of Black’s style. He likes to have all these threads weaving together from what seems like unconnected stories, but unless the script is tight there are bound to be lots of holes in a story that follows that method. Considering the IM films have a habit of rewriting a lot of things on set due to RDJs liking of improv…

IAN: Black seemed to do a better job of tying strands together thematically; it’s just that the film then descends into action-movie Hell. Like Marvel got nervous about it being too quirky. All the pure Black touches (the henchmen, Mandarin twist, the snarky banter with the kid) was really great. And all the Marvel Studios stuff (PTSD) felt shoe-horned in and never went anywhere. The Avengers did the same – remember when Thor’s lightning hits Iron Man, and powers his suit up? And it’s never mentioned again?

REECE: Yeah. That was odd. I’m not sure about the PTSD stuff. I mean it was a good idea, it just felt forgotten about two thirds of the way into the film as they realised it was clashing a bit too much with what was meant to be a action comedy.

IAN: It also seems strange that absolutely no one seems affected particularly by the events of The Avengers. Aliens now exist… but it’s business as normal.

ALL YOUR BASS BELONG TO USA

REECE: Again, I think we are asking too much of the film. It’s trying to be all these things, a post Avengers film, a sequel to IM2, a Shane black film, a way of tying up the RDJ trilogy in case he won’t appear in any more films. Some things were bound to be covered not as well, though there are allusions to it, with Killian saying the reason he chose his plan was because the avengers made the world black and white again, it opened the doors for all these crazy personalities to start appearing in everyday lives. In this case, it’s the post Avengers stuff that loses out. Perhaps we will get more of that in the SHIELD TV series. I hope so, because you are right. The public has been exposed to the fact that frigging superheroes exist as do aliens. That’s something to be explored in a long form TV show. But then if comics can’t really talk about that (I think the Wildstorm universe came closest-everyone was shit scared of superheroes because nothing could even come close to their power), it’s not something I expect the films to explore. There has to be a level or suspension of disbelief I suppose and comics readers come with that built in.

IAN: I think people just expect films to be tighter in construction. Comics have a free-walling charm; films are designed with a start, middle and end… so if you are going to make a shared universe, there has to be consequence. And here, the consequence doesn’t exist. The obvious solution would be to have a Marvel Studios comic-book line running constantly between the films to bridge the gaps (so you’d get MS: Iron Man between the films, then the month after set-up the next story.) With the Agent of Shield TV show, using Marvel Studios ongoing comics would create a nice circular franchise. I was surprised how good War Machine was. Don Cheadle benefitted from Shane Black being ‘the guy’ for buddy comedies.

REECE: Yeah. He was certainly a lot more competent than he’s been in the past. I think I would be happy just watching a film starring RDJ and DC. I think that’s one of the strengths of this film (and the IM films in general) that you spend most of the film with Tony Stark not in a suit and yet those are the best bits. The film notably flagged whenever a suit popped up. Whereas Stark breaking into the Mandarins mansion was thrilling.

IAN: Exactly. It’s tension. Stark in his own suit went toe to toe with Thor; so logically, very little should be able to damage him sufficiently. It’s one of the reasons the film fell down near the end – Extremis fuelled fake-fake Mandarin isn’t really a buy-able threat… but Tony going espionage, taking on armed mooks without the suit, is a scene where there’s real tension. Also, Don Cheadle’s flying falcon punch after they broke his suit was outstanding!

WARMACHINAROXOR

REECE: Yeah it was. It shows he earned that suit and didn’t just get one because he’s Tony Starks buddy. Which is sort of the impression I got from the prior films. It’s just a shame he had to go and punch the guy who breathes fire.

IAN: A rookie mistake from War Machine there. It’s a shame they’ve basically retired the Iron Patriot gear. Personally, I much prefer that visually to the drab War Machine get-up.

REECE: Well, he’s just a military guy at end of the day. Tony took on Thor and the guy who punched Hitler, so his weird shit-o-meter probably tingles a lot more in times like that. Did they retire it though? The armour is still around as that’s how the president was saved.

IAN: It seemed that Rhodes hated it, a lot. I guess you can write around that, but it seems like they’re putting it to the side for now. And we’ve avoided Pepper completely. I guess we have to talk about her at some point.

REECE: Do you mean how she’s pretty much demeaned the entire film then gets one token action scenes to try and make up for it? I mean the film didn’t even really make a big a deal when she ‘died’. Whilst literally calling her a trophy.

IAN: Essentially. I’m not against Pepper getting a suit (The Rescue arc by Matt Fraction was excellent), it’s just that suddenly she knows Kung Fu, is doing flips, and going loco on Extremis. I get they don’t want her to be a damsel in distress, yet everything she did felt like it was from another ridiculous film. It’s astounding that Marvel would have the first super powered female be Pepper Potts.

This isn’t Yellow!

REECE: Not that I’m saying the misogyny was deliberate. I think its accidental, as the film is pretty clear she a strong capable person who only just tolerates Tony’s shit and she’s a capable CEO. But that speaks volumes about the film that it was accidentally misogynistic.

IAN: I don’t think any misogyny was intended either. They felt they were shattering the damsel trope. Except Pepper hasn’t been a damsel in any Marvel film prior to this. And to me it downplayed the good parts of the character (strong, capable CEO who doesn’t take Tony’s crap) and made her a (temporary) super powered character… forgetting that Rescue in the comics was great because she refused to be a weapon.

REECE: Yeah. I think you right. It’s not as if it’s as bad another film RDJ is in (the guy Richie Sherlock Homes films). In those they kill off the only strong woman to give Homes some pathos and to make the film boys only again they throw Watson’s wife off a train (to safety sure, but he still threw her off a train).

IAN: Especially brilliant as the first Sherlock Holmes film had Irene as a capable, smart, feisty and resourceful woman. One of the few things I liked about The Avengers was Black Widow (mostly) being resourceful and clever. Like when she tricks the God of Tricksters into telling her his plan.

REECE: Yeah. JW, despite Dollhouse and bits of firefly, loves writing characters as equals, regardless of gender, sexuality etc. To come back to an earlier point, I think it’s just the way the script was written. There are all these elements leading up to the big battle at the end and I think so pepper was involved they gave her an action scenes where she kills Killion. Yet she’s pretty much forgotten for most of the film after the opening scenes where she meets Killion. Pepper and Maya get side-lined.

Rebecca Hall deserved better!

IAN: Maya was pretty useless all round. The debunked idea that she was Madame Masque would at least have given her some import.

REECE: Who?

IAN: Madame Masque. One of Tony’s villains. He slept with her, her face got messed up, and she turned evil.

COMICS!

REECE: Ah ok. Well I can see why that was avoided.

IAN: Damn political correctness.

IAN: So to conclude… I’d say Iron Man 3 is an exceptionally brave film with a tremendous performance by Ben Kingsley that doesn’t quite go the distance – and still has a corporate rival as a villain. The trilogy ends with Tony Stark deciding to remove the shrapnel from his heart, a metaphor for Robert Downey Jr. removing the albatross of solo films perhaps?

REECE: Perhaps. I think it’s comparable to an early Steven Moffat episode of Dr Who (not the crappy ones we have now). It’s pretty good all round, there are shocks and twists and the piece has balls. It’s just when you finish watching it, all these questions start popping up that really diminish it overall. Still, it’s a good film one regardless. It’s certainly the best of the Iron Man films and probably up there as one of the best Marvel films as well. I can’t say I regretted watching it, even with all the problems in the film. Which really are niggling problems rather than ones that ruin it. It’s fun, fantastic and its worth staying for after the credits. Bruce and Tony bromancing is great.

IAN: I’d differ in saying for me it’s the least of the Iron Man films… but only because of the timing. Iron Man and Iron Man 2 were before the superhero saturation kicked in. I don’t think Marvel can get that ‘whoa – world building’ feel back with Iron Man, because everything is established now. It’s why I’m looking forward to Ant-Man… which is so mad and has a director who makes visually dynamic films. I wouldn’t say Iron Man 3 is bad, just that it’s both comfortable and wild. They throw twists in, but in the end it’s still the same basic formula from the others. Just with fire breathing CEO’s and Tony calling a little kid a pussy. Which, fair enough, is awesome!

REECE: This is certainty going to be a risky set of films for Marvel (though more risky that doing the original shared universe, I’m not sure). You have Guardians of the Galaxy (even I don’t really know about them), Doc Strange, Ant Man, along with the reliable sequels to the first stage films. Maybe even a hulk sequel if they feel like going crazy. It’s a good time for superhero films. I’m sure WB execs are on suicide watch at the moment. If Man of Steel bombs we may never have a DC film that isn’t a batman or superman film.

IAN: From what I’ve seen, Man of Steel is the exact right tone. And he has superpowers. So that’ll do mega business.

Superman’s plot for box-office domination: seduce all the wives!

Apologies, but theres not much I can add to this one. When I previewed some pictures of the new Eldar release in White Dwarf that has been leaked, I figured those few blurry pictures were all the internet was getting. Guess I was wrong.

So here are some more pictures. Oddly enough these ones came watermarked before I removed them, so perhaps someone is doing some sneaky shenanigans to keep track of just how far the pictures are spreading.

Enjoy.

The new Eldar Flyer. Shiny!

A clearer shot of the monstrous creature wraith knight. We can see from this GW are extending the same design atheistic from Eldar vehicles to the rest of the new range.

A spiritseer. GW are going with the faceless vizor look they gave to some dark eldar models, which is a nice point to show the two species are linked, no matter how much they wish they weren’t.

Kenner Alien Resurrection Newborn Alien Action Figure, by Splittyhead

BOOM! THAT’s what I call an alien! Is it a corpse? Is it a mummy? is it slimy? mommy?
It’s Kenner’s creeptacular 1997 Alien Resurrection Newborn Alien, 8 inches tall.

Submit Your Photos To Flickr Or By E-mail

Why Figure Photos of the Day?

We are back on track this week with some great genre pieces for you to enjoy.  We cover a wide variety of themes this week including isolation, mental breakdowns, graphic violence and what happens when you build a movie around a story generator regardless of how ridiculous the connection is going to look.

Apartment 4E

http://youtu.be/SbbJkuX4xZo

In this blink and miss it preview, a girl who hasn’t left her home is faced with someone trying to break into her home, or is he? Why is she handcuffing this dude to a chair?  Well I guess if he tried to break the door down that is a good idea but what the hell is going on here?  And if you have a heavy caliber gun like she has, wouldn’t you just shoot the guy?  I know previews are supposed to intrigue you but maybe this guy is spoiled by the 2 minutes trailers he gets to see.

Dark Circles

http://youtu.be/iZINPFjZhwI

As a parent of a young child myself I can certainly empathize with this next movie.  A young family with a little baby move from their crazy awesome city life to a place in the burbs.  But once they move in strange happenings occur but are they supernatural occurrences in the house or just hallucinations due to lack of sleep for the parents?  A quick parenting tip, if your kitchen sink has a disposal in the drain…wash your kid in the bathtub!  Also, if someone claims they won’t hurt you and then smashes a chair in the ground, they will probably hurt you.  For some strange reason there is no “Based on a true story” attached to this thing which I would think a story like this is probably based on some real event.

The ABCs of Death

http://youtu.be/sOjnX-Mbzqg

I am a sucker for anthology movies especially the old school films like Tales from the Darkside and Tales from the Crypt.  This maybe an occasion when the concept is different then the reality, or a case where the film makers bit off more than they could chew.  This movie anthology series is 26 ways to die each representing a different letter of the alphabet (for example we see a Furry which I can only assume is for ‘F’) and each segment is filmed in different styles with varying degrees of humour.  I have read some stuff on the movie and it has circled through many different film festivals with a lot of different reactions.  Like most anthology stories, there is always a weak story but when you have a movie with 26 stories, will you remember all the bad ones or the good ones?

Robin Hood – Ghosts of Sherwood

http://youtu.be/R846IPCIzAI

Let’s say you a movie studio and you are brainstorming ideas for the “next big thing”, how do you do it?  Do you look through a pile of scripts and pick the best one?  Do you search the internet for the biggest pop culture fad and find someone to write a movie?  Or do you, like the creators of this movie? Spin two wheels, one with literary characters and another with some kind of deadly situation.  In this case, the wheel came up, Robin Hood and zombies.  Yes, that is not a typo, Robin Hood, Marion, Little John and the Sheriff of Nottingham take on zombies…movies like this is why I love movies so much.  Could this movie get any better?  But you Scott, you say, this movies has it all so that must be impossible, what if I told you it was filmed in 3D and not converted 3D as the trailer was nice enough to mention a few times?  I can’t wait until they spin the wheel and get Pocahontas fighting aliens in Africa.

That’s all for this week folks!  Take the time to look up some of the selections this week and be sure to let me know what you thought.  Don’t forget to hit the comments and let me know if I missed something or if there is a movie out there you think I should check out.  Also, make sure you check out some of my friends on Nerditis while checking me out and I’ll see you next week!