Weekly Time Waster

 

Hello everyone and welcome to Weekly Time Waster!  My name is Scott or Canadian Scott if you prefer and my area of nerd love comes from watching movies.  I love them all; sometimes the worse a movie is, the more I love it.  This weekly column is going to be bringing you some of the new release movies from the week relevant to us in the nerd world.  I won’t be giving you spoilers but instead you’ll get to see some trailers and my thoughts on the movie.  Enjoy and feel free to let me know of any others you think I missed.

This week’s haul seems to resemble a line up for future Rifftrax or from MST3K glory days.  Some interesting releases this week include:

Hansel & Gretel: Warriors of Witchcraft

Night of the Templar

Hold Your Breath

Witch’s Brew

Hansel & Gretel: Warriors of Witchcraft

http://youtu.be/6UbqmCs2Fq8

Yes this movie stars lead actors that are brother and sister and yes their names are Booboo and Fivel but I think the biggest tragedy here is that Eric Roberts must be in need of money.  I think we need to get together and have a telethon for him because if he is reducing himself to stuff like this then I feel bad for him.  Unless this man is collecting money to store in a Scrooge McDuck like vault in which case I don’t feel so bad anymore.

 Night of the Templar

http://youtu.be/E_XOm7EyfaY

This movie is a who’s who of direct to video gods including the late David Carradine.  Norman Reedus, who apparently thanks God everyday he now works on Walking Dead, stars in this medieval take on the slasher genre.  I thought I had seen it all in horror movies but the trailer includes a scene where a Knight punches a woman in the face with her shield.  If you are looking for some laughs then give this a look over.

Hold Your Breath

http://youtu.be/ZiBZWC-SwOw

The Asylum, taking a break from ripping off the major blockbusters of the summer has come out with an “original” movie.  The only thing original I can take away from this thing is the set up.  As we all know when you drive past a cemetery you’re suppose to hold your breath (although I thought that was tunnels), anyway the story is about what happens when you don’t.

Witch’s Brew

http://youtu.be/-GQwak-9ODc

Okay, I will admit that this is a pretty interesting premise.  A pair of slackers turned brewers are loving life until they run over a witch’s cat.  She then places a curse on their latest delivery and wackiness and horror ensues.  The make-up jobs look bad but I’m bias because of all the Face/Off I’m watching, the special FX looks bad and the acting is pretty bad too and that is from the one minute trailer.  I’m just glad I didn’t see Eric Roberts or else I would be really concerned.

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