Weekly Time Waster

Welcome to another Weekly Time Waster!  My name is Scott or Canadian Scott if you prefer and my area of nerd love comes from watching movies.  I love them all; sometimes the worse a movie is, the more I love it.  This weekly column is going to be bringing you some of the new release movies from the week relevant to us in the nerd world.  I won’t be giving you spoilers but instead you’ll get to see some trailers and my thoughts on the movie.  Enjoy and feel free to let me know of any others you think I missed.

It was light this week on non-foreign releases but there was a whole bunch of great straight to video movies that range from environmental disaster to World War 2 period pieces.  Strange that a lot of what was out this week were nowhere to be seen during the Oscar telecast, must be a conspiracy.  Here are my picks for the week:

500 MPH Storm

Total Retribution

Zombie Massacre: Army of the Dead

Company of Heroes

500 MPH Storm

http://youtu.be/Hs-8eNf_Z1s

Casper Van Dien…what happened to you?  I loved you in Starship Troopers and then I don’t remember seeing you in much else.  I know you’re still working because I haven’t read about your downfall so good on you.  An original offering from The Asylum about a killer storm that splits a family apart and apparently turns the US into a wasteland of Mad Max proportions.  Is it just me or does The Asylum have some family issues because every single movie is about a family in peril or a family separated and the story of how they get back together?

Total Retribution

http://youtu.be/0fJeyIKpyAU

This movie was also called Earthkiller so please don’t think I wasn’t paying attention.  At a great 45 seconds you have to decide what is going on and whether this thing is going to be any good.  It is probably best to say this movie is probably above student film but below Asylum in terms of quality and story.  The fact you only get to hear the announcer for the movie is not a good sign.  It would appear that people are in a space station and they are fighting either aliens or each other.  The lack of dialogue could mean that this will be the genre’s take on The Artist.

Zombie Massacre:  Army of the Dead

http://youtu.be/nD5ubqAQWJg

I don’t even know where to begin.  The visual quality looks like a grindhouse movie but it is not done ironically.  The acting does not look very could which means this story is a jumbled mess.  And the zombies are fast-moving which already makes me hate this thing even without all the visual and acting issues.  On the positive side, the effects look great which means to expect some serious gore.  If you are looking for a MST3K movie to watch with friends then this is probably going to be it.

Company of Heroes

http://youtu.be/DQYeYAPFsM8

Tom Sizemore who is looking to reclaim some glory from Saving Private Ryan and Neal McDonough looking to reclaim some Band of Brothers glory star in the World War 2 flick based upon a video game.  A group of soldiers stumble across a Nazi research facility that has developed a destructive bomb, now the soldiers will have to stop the Nazis and grab the scientist responsible for it.  I did notice one of the Nazi soldiers is the guy attacked by the Bearjew in Inglorious Basterds and he played one in Life is Beautiful…talk about type casting.

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