I will say one thing which will summarize this weeks story. One word which will send veteran FFF readers into a cold sweat, one noun which has been known to destroy whole galaxy’s at a time: Comicsnix.
Note: This story contain graphic attempts at describing sexual interxourse, usually between humans, but occasionally between other sentient creatures. It is very stupid. Reader Discretion is Advised.
Spider man was swing thru the New York city when heard woman sound:
Monster? MASTER?! We may never know. But, for FFF new comers, Comicsnix… well, he’s a FFF legend, and I don’t know what else to say than that.
“Oh shit, I was goint to work!” said Petar Parker.
He’s being written in character, at least.
Spider man them went in the building with the woan and there it was, a naked and very delicious girl in her limit eighteen age of good doers. Spider man looked and thought “Oh shit, someone raped woman!!! I must take her to place place!!!”. But woman wasn’t in danger:
I have no idea what kind of spot “place place” is, but it terrifies me to no end.
“Spider man, good your here…” said woman. She was very beatiful, red hair, blur collar, and big boobs. But her butt was a tad flat. She worked all day seatted in industry, so her butt deformed. But was very soft without further comment.
And there is a full paragraph talking about an ass. More specifically, an ass that’s deformed from sitting down all day. I LOVE MY JOB!
“Miss woman, I came to save you, let me take you to hospital!” said Spider.
“No Spider Man, no need for that…I just want one thing…”
I bet it’s his dick.
Spider Ma n got confused. Women wasn’t in peril. What she want? He asked:
“Madam, what is your desire?”
“Spider Man, I want to sleep with you”
Spider was appaled by that request. A woman what to make sex with him! He must do what? Mary Jane was home and would be very angry Spider Cheating her. But will she now? She was being very distant these days, and wasn’t compreensive on Spider Life againt villain world. He got very depressed and was making out alone in bathroom, because of Mary headaches. “Maybe she is cheating me!!!!” he tohught, but his bonner was very strong. Two months, no sleep with Mary Jane… he decided.
Let’s take a quick look at this, shall we?
- He’s “appaled” at the thought of sex.
- Yeah, I bet Mary Jane would be pissed that he cheated.
- “Spider Cheating her”.
- FFF Band Name #876: Spider Life.
- …”making out alone”?
- He has an erection that’s lasted two months. Wut?
Okay, let’s continue.
The woman, whose name was Janice Bananhes got aproached him.
“Don’t be afraid Spider man, I hurt not…”
Spider was shaking his skin. All his nerves got upped in catatonic shape and his hair was creepy. The woman aproached hands on his torax, and started to rub Spider chest. Oh, the touch of a woman was comforting. His stress levels got five times down by only that little gentle touch. Spider put his gloves out and reached woman back, that was soft and gentle. She got some hair in her back, but it was thin and cottony. It was red too, because she dyed it, her color of hair wasn’t natural, it was blond, but she liked red.
The woman them aproached her body near Peter, and he felt her smoth boobies. He got very excited and managed to pull his clothes off, but keeop mask, for identity’s protection. Now Peter is with only head covered and is touching hips with hips in the Janice. She like.
“Oh Spider, this was the very moment of my life I was expecting…” she sighed in Peter inner ear. Her breath was hot and Peter got with red ears. His muscles them got rigid and her hands touched them, pressing them between finguers. She them scratched his biceps with her nails.
“Ouch, that’ll leave a mark!!!”
“Yes, the mark of our passion”
Spider was feeling strange, because he was throbbing. He got confused at the passion thing the woman loved Mary Jane. He had no passion to the woman…he couldn’t accept that. It was fake as her died hair color:
“No, this is not right…”
“What it is my Spider Love?”
“No, I like Mar…sorry, to tease you…” and Peter picked his clothes, put and swinged to job at Diary Bugle .
If anyone can make a new Comicsnix seal of quality, preferably in GIF form, that replaces ToplessRobot with Nerditis, that would be great.
The woamn stared with a sneer in mouth, and horny eyes:
“You are mine now Pete…”
Peter Parked wrnt to job and Jonh Jonas Jammerson shouted:
“What the fuck Parker??? More Spider photos? I don’t need this shit, go to another newspaper, I don’t care!!!” spat and slobbered John Jons as he went to mind business.
There is nothing I don’t love about that sentence.
“Okay mister John, New York had a good proposal on this one…bye!”
“What you say?”
“I almost sold these to the New York Tims, but wantee to talk to you because…”
How much more awesome would the New York Time’s be if it was called “The New York Tims”?
“Save-me you drivels Parker, how much they offers?”
“No way, gettouta here!”
I LOVE MY JOB!
“Come here Parker!!!! You think I will paid that must for shitty photographs?” asked John with his fingers rigid and trmbling.
“No mist John, there are people…”
“I pay two hunfred..”
“Mister Jammerson, I cannot…”
“Okay! Three hundred and a half and we take no more. Have a very bad day Parker!!!” and Jammerson went to his Room snorting and stepping callously. He said to rhe reporter:
“Put this in first page, headline: “Spider Man fuckes New Yorker butt!!!” and them shut his room with bang.
That… would probably make me read the paper.
Peter wennt out of building with the money and covere his Body with Spider suit. He them swong to higher skycrappers. But Spider senses went like mad:
“Oh shit here it com…” and Spider got kicked very hard in the back, as had no time toi turn. He flew good meters and spat spider fluid from his pulses to wall of building. The strange figure hid himself an d shout:
Okay, that was pretty great. The thought of Spider-Man slamming face first into a building because he can’t turn is pretty fucking awesome.
Spider man!!!! Or may I say Peter!!!!”
Peter got stunned. “My good, my identity!!!” and them a masked villain attacks Spidey.
“Punch!!” in his face, it’s a strong hand. The maked stranger talks:
“Peter, or you be with myne girl, or Mary will suffer you!!!” said a feminine voice.
“How are you?”
“I don’t have name, but look this…” and she threw compromising Peter photos with woman from before, Janice.
“You are Janice!!”
“No, but she is waitnig your finishing business with her. Or else, Mary will got broken heart!!!”
“What do you want?”
“Just the happiness of my little…you don’t need to know…now go back to building and finish job.!!” and the masked woman flew away.
Could this be the greatest exchange in FFF history? “Go and fuck Janice!” “I don’t want to fuck Janice!” “You will fuck Janice, or I will kill your girlfriend!” “Fine, I’ll fuck Janice!”
Peter panicked, his veins got filled with much fury and angry his heearth was:
“What now?!! Why I stopped there???”
He got pensitive. She got the photos, but he was masked!! How does she know identity? He must risk it? It’s a bluff? But if he go and finish with girl the sex, nothing will happen…but consience.
Peter thought the entire day, and them he went to the place with the Janice naked.
“Janice, you…ahh…what I’m doing?!”
“Come here Peter…I’m wainting…”
Wanting? Painting?! The mystery continues!
Peter feet where moving slowly at her direction. His hands were sweating and eyes got hot. They roleed in every direction.
“Yes Peter, in a momet all will be over and you will be of Mary again…”
He was thinking “So I must cheat Mary to be with her again?”. Janice went to his direction in tip toe, lascivous and curvy.
“Come Peter, enjoy the unovoidable…”
Peter them went and stared her in eyes.
“Why Janice?” Why this?”
“No why Peter. Things happen…this is the only reason.”
Peter staied stucked as Janice went again with her hands to rubbed Peter torax and this time got very fast to bulge in his suit. He got erect. She them started to stroke in a confy fashion Peter member as he staied unmoving. “My God, this cannot be…”.
WHAT THE FUCK IS A TORAX?!
At the second moment, Janice picked Spider’s trousers and started to lower Peter pants reavealing his now hard member. Peter them got hard in muscles and pushed the lady to the ground.
“No Janice, this isn’t going to happen!!!”
“Peter, you have no choice!!! Or Mary will be very disapointed!!”
“No, you can’t control me!!!” and Peter started to swing of the building with spider goo.
I’m just going to believe Spider-Man just ejaculated all over the wall to try and get away, and nothing anyone tells me will convince me otherwise.
“No Spider man, you are controlled now!” laughed Jnice as she got dress up.
WHAT A TWEEST
Peter got to his home and Mary Jane was there.
“Hi Peter, I made a pancake for us!”
Only a single pancake? Jesus Christ, you expect to feed both of you with just on pancake?!
“I must tell you something…”
“Peter, you’re strange…pale.”
“Well, someone just scratched my Torax.”
“Mary Jane, I…”
“Peter, you are creeping me, tell me something!”
“I fucked Aunt May! You said tell you something.”
And Peter unburdened himself of what happened. He told everything, before something came thru the mailbox or from some “frind” mouth.
Mary Jane heard, only looking forward… and when Peter finished, Mary Jane stayed seated a bit, and them rose up and went to bed, silent, in small steps. Peter only looked. He went to bathroom showered. After half hour seating in the kitchen, he went to bed too, laid besides Mary, not talking anything and close eyelids. Peter heard a weep.
And that, ladies and gentleman, is that. Believe it or not, that is the lighter side of Comicsnix. Now, if anyone knows what a “Torax” is, never tell me.