Weekly Time Waster

Welcome to another Weekly Time Waster!  My name is Scott or Canadian Scott if you prefer and my area of nerd love comes from watching movies.  I love them all; sometimes the worse a movie is, the more I love it.  This weekly column is going to be bringing you some of the new release movies from the week relevant to us in the nerd world.  I won’t be giving you spoilers but instead you’ll get to see some trailers and my thoughts on the movie.  Enjoy and feel free to let me know of any others you think I missed.

This week, we have a couple of ghosts and a couple crypto creatures for your enjoyment!  Plus because I have made it to 20 posts, I have a great bonus trailer for you that I just discovered came out last week and I wouldn’t be doing you any justice if I didn’t include it in my picks!  Secondly, to give you an update from a couple of weeks back and my Chemical Burn Entertainment themed post, the studio were nice enough to send me a couple of movies and you can expect to see them in some upcoming Tales from the Northside!  But onto the movies…

A Haunting at Silver Falls

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GJ_uW-5JBtU

An orphaned girl arrives to the picturesque town of Silver Falls which is a town with dark secrets.  The girl while attending a back woods party stumbles across a silver ring and immediately puts it on and invites the spirits of two dead girls to follow her at every turn.  At least she has her nerdy love interest and naïve foster parents to help fuel this cliché filled movie.  Two quick questions:  Whenever you have a movie filled with an unoriginal idea do producers feel that saying it is “Based on a True Events” will trick me into thinking this is original?  And two, if a high schooler wants to visit a criminal do prisons allow that kind of thing?

Attack of the Jurassic Shark

http://youtu.be/j28u-qlolC4

I think we have finally broken the goofy meter with this one.  I’m not even sure where to start…so we learned that there are stories even The Asylum and the SyFy channel won’t even touch.  This movie features acting that can be described as ad-libbed because there is no way someone could have written a script this bad, especially with a line “Are you done with the junk food?! How about some gourmet?”  But I think the real star here is the shark/graphics department.  I don’t think I’ve see anything so fake in my entire life.  I think they should have just used a cardboard cut out because it would have been more believable.  Props to the makers for the Free Willy shout out though.

Nailbiter

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-7Sxo8X0jfE

I know the makers of the film could not predict that devastation would hit Oklahoma last week but don’t you think if you have a movie that takes places during a tornado that maybe, just maybe, hold off a couple extra weeks before releasing it?  Not much can be picked up in the trailer but a mother and her three kids (all playing to a stereotype I would bet), seek refuge from an incoming tornado.  Instead of choosing to knock on the door, they break into someone’s cellar not realizing that a sadistic killer is living in the house.  There is a lot going on and I have a feeling it will probably show in the final product that the producers had no idea what they are doing.

Gut

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lpmnts9e_F0

When Tom, becomes so disenfranchised about his life, his friend shows him a video.  This video which appears to probably involve killing someone opens up new feels and images within him.  The movie comes with a lot of critical acclaim but to me it tries to come off as a pretentious art house flick with brooding scores and scenes without dialogue to show how arty we can be.  And it’s not like I need tons of action and gore in my face to enjoy a scary movie but to me this film might be going about it all the wrong way.

**Bonus**

Don’t let the Riverbeast get you!

http://youtu.be/eTwKCkYLAgA

Okay, let’s skip the obvious stuff like the bad writing, acting and cinematography.  Instead we should look at the monster.  You know I’m all for practical effects and monster costumes but this is a joke right?  Like if I was going to film this thing I would perhaps stick with tight shots and maybe film only at night but nope, we’ll do straight up day shots and full body shots so you can bask in all the glory that is ridiculous creature design.  Alright now let’s go back a step.  I cannot believe how bad every part of this thing, the acting is amateur at best and the story, disgraced witness to the Riverbeast (because no one believed him) is asked to save his hometown when the Riverbeast awakens has got to be a joke. If this showed with Attack of the Jurassic Shark then there would not be enough alcohol in the world to help me forget the three hours of my life that was wasted.

That’s all for this week folks!  Take the time to look up some of the selections this week and be sure to let me know what you thought.  Don’t forget to hit the comments and let me know if I missed something or if there is a movie out there you think I should check out.  Also, make sure you check out some of my friends on Nerditis while checking me out and I’ll see you next week!  And make sure you keep your eyes open for the next Tales from the Northside!

2 responses to “Weekly Time Waster

  1. Cheers for a great blog! Really enjoyed the write up. It is probably better than the films! Keep up the awesome work.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s