Welcome to another Weekly Time Waster! My name is Scott or Canadian Scott if you prefer and my area of nerd love comes from watching movies. I love them all; sometimes the worse a movie is, the more I love it. This weekly column is going to be bringing you some of the new release movies from the week relevant to us in the nerd world. I won’t be giving you spoilers but instead you’ll get to see some trailers and my thoughts on the movie. Enjoy and feel free to let me know of any others you think I missed.
On the main release front we have a couple good ones, first is American Horror Story: Asylum. I will admit that on first blush a horror TV series from the guy who made Glee was not something I thought would be that great but trust me when I say this is good stuff, great acting, great gore and scary atmosphere. This is the second season and be sure you check out the first season and the upcoming third season which premieres this week. The other release of note is one I will check as I have never ever seen this horror franchise, Child’s Play. Child’s Play is about the evil doll Chucky and the entire collection is being released on Blu Ray.
As for the best of the rest we have evil Daniel Baldwin turning kids into zombies, next we have a movie with pretty blatant false advertising, a group of friends gathering in an isolated location will need to atone for a previous sin because why else would you go up north and finally we end with Danny Trejo fighting zombies but this isn’t the lame duck SyFy version this one carries a description of Mad Max meets The Walking Dead!!
A group of six college kids looking to make an extra buck are sequestered on the penthouse level of some hospital. What they don’t realize is that Daniel Baldwin (the evilest of the Baldwins) is going to infect the group with a zombie virus and watch while one by one they either (a) try to escape or (b) kill eachother off. By watching the trailer I can tell you there has to be some red flags before you enter into a situation like this, such as secured location, creepy business man and then probably the scientist wearing a gas mask from the 40s are all signs that you’re about to have a bad time. This movie is also called The Removed so if a person feels the need to change the title of their movie but not within their trailer that should act as a red flag for us.
4 Dead Girls: The Soul Taker
I want you to watch this trailer and then do a quick count for me. Now according to the title we should have 4 Dead Girls but I do not see that here (I don’t want to count the first girl because the title would imply that the four girls are together). Anyway, THREE girls move into a house together and are terrorized by a man who wants to claim their souls. I will give the production team a little credit because the smoke effects look pretty cool. The closing off of the home to make them feel isolated and the girls apparently turning on each other is an interesting twist but I feel like this is something we’ve seen before and that dialogue is a bit wooden and lifeless…
Seven friends from a diversity workplace video are bound by a mysterious secret which I’m pretty sure involves killing a guy because why else would these particular group of people really have anything else in common?! They then go out to a cabin in the woods to spend a weekend together and then are killed one by one. The acting looks bad, the effects will be bad and the story will make little to no sense. And I’m going to spoil something right now because this movie is so transparent; I bet the guy who actually killed the guy has no remorse will be the “dick” in this movie. Also who leaves a scythe lying around like that?!?
I have nothing against Kickstarter or any other crowd sourcing groups but seriously we need to put a filter on what you can do with this kind of power. In this movie we get our hero, channeling the ghost of Mel Gibson’s Mad Max, brooding through a zombie apocalypse. During his travels as a lone wolf he comes across a quant little group that has strippers and booze run by Danny Trejo. When the group is attacked by zombies, our hero must learn to get along and help his new found group. Seriously guys, this is a literal rip off of Mad Max but you made everyone zombies then a bunch of crazy Aussies. I would discuss the “Based on a true story” part but what’s the point. The only true story is how the writers were probably high while watching Mad Max and wrote this thing. This is the kind of movie though I hope knows it’s just a big pile of mess and embraces it rather then taking itself seriously.
That’s all for this week folks! Take the time to look up some of the selections this week and be sure to let me know what you thought. Don’t forget to hit the comments and let me know if I missed something or if there is a movie out there you think I should check out. Make sure you check out some of my friends on Nerditis and my new column The Northern Dead and old favourite Tales from the Northside. I’ll see you next week! Also upcoming this month is Nerditis Halloween week (October 24-31) which will feature some great themed columns and articles including new movie reviews from your truly!