Welcome to another Weekly Time Waster! My name is Canadian Scott and my area of nerd love comes from watching movies. I hope everyone has been enjoying Halloween Week here at Nerditis. As the resident movie/horror aficionado for the site, it is nice to see my genre get some love from everyone on the site. This week you will not only get your usual picks but coming tomorrow, I will be featuring my top 13 horror movies to not only enjoy during Halloween but all year round!
In the mainstream category, for your kids, we have Monsters University. The prequel that I’m not sure a lot of people wanted to see but in the end audiences did seem to enjoy it for what it was, something you can show your kids to ease them into the world of monsters. For the adults, if you love bad movies with hammy acting and you thought “I like Men in Black but I wish it involved dead people…” well then R.I.P.D is going to be up your alley.
Within the other category, we have a possible return to form in the vampire genre after the awful taste that was Twilight, a psycho man-hating girl that I’m sure the makers of the film enjoyed seeing all the T and A rather then make a movie, a found footage movie in an under utilized location…an insane asylum and finally we end with a slasher film with one of the most frightening things on the planet.
Now before you immediately begin rolling your eyes at another vampire film, I think we should probably give this one a chance. The director made Interview with a Vampire which I think we can all agree upon is one of the better vampire stories in cinema history so give the guy a chance. Two female vampires (posing as mother and daughter) are forced to deal with the ever changing world around them and we begin to wonder if having eternal life is all its cracked up to be. I would expect to see some lame love stories which may drag the pacing down a little bit but if you are looking for a change of pace from the world of Twilight and to help you forget that they made Queen of the Damned then give this a try.
It’s a tale as old as Hollywood itself. A girl trying to catch a break in the big city seduces a producer and when she is scorned decides to hold him hostage and then proceed to make love to him at every turn. I’m a little confused what is going on here but I guess the film makers wanted to make a moody film about isolation and that sense of urgency you get from being kidnapped but I have a feeling they fall woefully short. I think only the sexual stuff will probably save this film and I sense that those moments were a bait and switch in order to draw people in. Also, I will spoil something for you right now and I’ll bet the girl who is the psycho has some past history with Douche McDouche that he will only realize at the very end.
Not to spoil anything this week but coming up I have a double feature review of a movie called Grave Encounters. This movie is about a film crew that head into an insane asylum but have run-ins with the paranormal. Why do I mention this to you? Well in this movie, a film crew heads into an insane asylum only to have a run in with the paranormal. I mean I know that it is not unheard of to have multiple movies with the same theme but Hollywood, can you try something else?! Anyway, I have a feeling that the scares will be a jump variety rather then a mental one and I do appreciate them utilizing Thor for this movie given there is lots of time between Avengers movies…
All Hollow’s Eve
When a kid returns home from trick or treating, he notices that someone gave him a VHS tape. Now you would think “this is 2013, why would someone give out VHS tapes?” And you may also think “this is 2013, why does someone have a VHS player?” But guys this is Hollywood where nothing is original and spurned actresses’ have sexual-revenge moments. Anyway when the tape plays it unleashes a psycho clown in absolutely frightening make up that begins killing all those who are related or known to the person who watched the tape. Confession time! Clowns are the most frightening thing I’ve ever seen. It is so bad that I have never seen It because I know the next time I’ll see a clown I will either cry or punch it immediately in the face. Anyway, this movie looks like it has some great practical effects, some okay kills but I have a feeling the story is a little disjointed and really bad pacing. I should add that I cannot tell if this is a straight movie or an anthology movie (which is a vibe I got from it at first).
That’s all for this week folks! Take the time to look up some of the selections this week and be sure to let me know what you thought. Don’t forget to hit the comments and let me know if I missed something or if there is a movie out there you think I should check out. Make sure you check out some of my friends on Nerditis and my new column The Northern Dead and old favourite Tales from the Northside. I’ll see you next week!