Welcome to another Weekly Time Waster! My name is Scott or Canadian Scott if you prefer and my area of nerd love comes from watching movies. I love them all; sometimes the worse a movie is, the more I love it. This weekly column is going to be bringing you some of the new release movies from the week relevant to us in the nerd world. I won’t be giving you spoilers but instead you’ll get to see some trailers and my thoughts on the movie. Enjoy and feel free to let me know of any others you think I missed.
Like The Northern Dead column missed from last week, my real life got in the way and I couldn’t find the time to get out last week’s Weekly Time Waster. That was probably for the best because there really was nothing that interesting that came out last week but I man have we made up for things this week! In the mainstream releases we have Simon Pegg’s alien disaster movie The World’s End. The best of the rest include whether a special effects guy could kill a bunch of small town folks, we see Jason step out from Crystal Lake and into some Rob Zombie snuff film, the Ouija board possessed by the stupidest name ever and we finish with a possessed man/boy with a thing for fish hooks.
A special effects master is called back to his home town following the death of his mother. When he returns he begins connecting with those he grew up with and whom he had thought he had left behind. The father, or step father, is then killed by some kind of creature but as the bodies begin to pile up and the apparent cause some kind of Bigfoot. The local police believe the perpetrator to him our guru clearly must be the one to do it because special effects masters have uncanny strength and love slashing at walls. Did anyone else notice the computer generated slash marks on the wall? I mean if you can’t even be bothered to make slashes then I don’t think we are looking at quality here.
Exit to Hell
Kane Hodder is a genre legend having played tall silent killers like Jason Voorhees and Hatchet. I had the chance to meet him this past year at the Niagara Comic Con and I can tell you he is a super tiny guy and not what you would expect. Now with that being said, what was this guy thinking by starring in this piece of crap. Filmed in the revitalized “grindhouse” style I guess this story is about Kane’s character Stickle seeking revenge against of drug dealers and n’er-do-wells in some desert town. As seen in the trailer, there will be some gratuitous sex, drugs and gore all in the name of “hey, it’s Grindhouse!”
I Am Zozo
I will give the makers of this movie some credit. It is nice to see someone pull away from the use of digital film and create something using 8mm film. The look of the film makes me think this is some film from the past. Unfortunately, they decided to do something absolutely ridiculous, an Ouija board possession story. Four college friends head out to a cottage and while there they begin using an Ouija board. Little too they realize they have awoken the fierce spirit of Zozo!!! Zozo kills people to compensate for his uncool name. As this film appears to have been made on a light budget, don’t expect high quality acting or story but maybe because of the nostalgia factor it’s the use of film then give it a try.
In 1894, a creepy southern hick (which I’m fairly certain they could have just kept this in modern times based on the probably not historically accurate dress) is murdered but his spirit possesses a hook which the creators of Candyman should probably get in touch with their lawyers about some copyright issues. Anyway, some lifeless (poorly acted) teenager gets a hold of the hook and immediately begins killing everyone around him. Based on the fact that the trailer itself is 44 seconds long, it means this is probably a poorly written movie or acted movie and these 44 seconds were unfortunately the best.
That’s all for this week folks! I appreciate you letting me have the week off and hopefully you enjoy some of the selections this week and be sure to let me know what you thought. Don’t forget to hit the comments and let me know if I missed something or if there is a movie out there you think I should check out. Also, make sure you check out some of my friends on Nerditis while checking me out and I’ll see you next week!