Destructoid has reported that the newest addition of playable character is one dude named “Bedman”. No, that’s not a typo of “Batman”, it really is “Bedman” due to the fact that it’s a dude on a giant robotic bed. No, that is not a joke.
Admittedly, this is not the weirdest design Daisuke Ishiwatari has ever come up with (that honor is shared between Zappa and Leopaldon), so this isn’t the reveal that gets my grill. After all, there’s no reason to get upset over something that is intentionally designed to be weird. No, the REAL reveal that made my eyes twitch in barely-contained rage is this:
Yes, that’s right: after having been confirmed to be dead for the past several games, Zato-One made his big comeback in this new entry to the series. It’s not even “Eddie” anymore, since the official character page on the official site clearly state his name as “Zato=ONE”. So yes, it’s official, folks: Zato is back, to which I say WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCKING FUCK, AKSYS?!
IT’S IN THE GODDAMN CANON FOR A DECADE THAT ZATO IS BUG MEAT, AND SUDDENLY IT’S NOT?! Why the HELL should you choose to undo an ongoing story when you’ve kept it as canon for YEARS?! Where do you pick up this brilliant style of storytelling?! DC Comics?! I mean, what’s next?! Kliff and Justice aren’t really dead and just laying low in some pocket universe somewhere for some bullshit reason?!
JESUS CHRIST what a dumb idea!!