And In More Bizarre Videogame-Related News, Courtesy of Japan

Fasten your seatbelts, folks: this ain't gonna be pretty!

Fasten your seat-belts, folks: this ain’t gonna be pretty!

Kotaku reported yesterday that a man in Kyoto, Japan, was arrested for allegedly forcing his nine-year-old stepson to play Grand Theft Auto IV for about three weeks in two to three hour intervals when the boy’s mother was away. Japanese news source also reported that the man verbally abused the boy by calling him “idiot” and “dumb” as well as telling him to go and kill himself. You know, just in case the poor kid didn’t get enough from Roman.

"HEY COUSIN, WANNA GO BOWLING?!"

“HEY COUSIN WANNA GO BOWLING?!”

Now, Japan is pretty much synonymous with weird shit and we’re supposed to no longer be surprised when weird shit came out of there, but I still can’t help but get baffled at this one. I mean, WHAT THE FUCK? What is the point of all of that? What has this guy got to gain from doing what he did to the poor kid? Was he part of the goddamn CIA, and this is a continuation of an MK ULTRA program? I mean, WHAT THE FUCK?!

Maybe he's training the kid into an assassin who only reacted to a "Would you kindly..." command?

Maybe he’s training the kid into an assassin who only reacted to a “Would you kindly…” command?

As always, news this weird can only be ended with the golden words that the internet has bestowed upon us, so here goes:

WTF JAPAN?!

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