Ah, Goat Man. Has there ever been a more popular character? Oh, right. Goat Man’s sole appearance was in a 1985 Golden Super Adventure Book, titled Secret of the Dragon’s Egg. It’s so obscure that just reading this has given seven hipsters an aneurism. Goat Man shows up in the background of a few pages, does not have any spoken lines, and has one big action: Running up to Fisto and getting punched in the gut. He gets name-dropped twice.
Surprisingly, Goat Man has been one of the more highly-requested characters in the Masters of the Universe Classics line. It’s probably because he looks cool, because it sure as hell isn’t because he did anything! This year, he is the Travelling Convention Exclusive – you can buy him at any con where Mattel has a booth. He was available on the April 2014 early access Matty sale for members only, but that probably does not help much. He will likely show up in some end of the year sales, though.
GOAT MAN: Iron-Headed Servant of Beast Man
REAL NAME: Klacky
A member of the G’hoat men from the Northern Mountains, Klacky’s species is one of the only intelligent upright races that falls subjective to the hypnotic powers of the Beast Men. And like most of his species, Klacky was captured by the rulers of the Vine Jungle and simply called “Goat Man” by his beastly masters. Eventually he found himself in the service of Raqquil Rqazz and was forced to serve in the Second Ultimate Battleground. Here he was severely wounded by Buzz Off and left at the foot of Central Tower. Crawling inside, Klacky fell into a time portal and was transported to the future; arriving on Eternia when King He-Man ruled the land and his son Dare wielded the Power Sword. Forced to serve an aging Beast Man in this new time, Goat Man is forever following whatever evil orders he is given.
Wow, that is… well, sad. So, Goat Man is an unwilling hypnotized slave who gets nearly killed by the heroes, and then re-enslaved again later. And I bet they just beat him up even more. You know, that really gets my goat!
Exactly the same as the rest of the packaging in this line! It’s A-Okay. I get tired of saying this.
Goat Man is one of those weird He-Man characters who is meant to be a monster, but looks like a man in a suit (see also: Clawful). His head is read, but the rest of him is flesh-toned, so the end result seems like a Halloween costume. The search for a red body doesn’t have to go on for long, though – check the end of this review to see what happens if you put Goat Man’s head on Modulok’s body!
Remember when He-Man was accused of being satanic? Well, Goat Man is here to add some fuel to that fire. He’s a big red guy with scary eyes and curving horns. It isn’t really his fault, as we have associated goats with Satan since Eliphas Levi codified Baphomet in popular culture (Baphomet as a goat combines lots of mythical goats with the Sabbatic goat, but it was originally a misspelling of Mahomet/Muhammad). But he is one of the more demonic-looking members of Skeletor’s team. The Horsemen did a great job with his head, giving it a Savage underbite and some creepy red eyes. He also has new thighs and wrists, which fit the theme pretty nicely.
Goat Man’s armor is a brand new vest – unique to him, but generic enough to fit on anybody, and the tabs are far enough back to make it easy to put on or take off. Again, it matches the Golden Book pretty well. Mostly, Goat Man just “is” – he looks great, but nothing particularly stands out as super-duper awesome. His genericness actually works well with Skeletor’s goons, and he fits in better than even some vintage designs.
The Halloween Costume weirdness is largely the fault of his paint, which is that way because it’s how he appeared in the book. Since it is not the toy’s fault, I won’t fault the toy for it.
Goat Man’s fleshier skin is tanned – he’s not as pale as a lot of other characters. This guy works in the sun! The tanned complexion works nicely with his red armor, but it might have trouble matching up with some other guys.
Goat Man’s red parts are a dull, deep crimson. Like I said, hellish! I especially appreciate the work on those eyes. They are very creepy and nightmarish, but something about them also says “hypnotized,” or at least not truly conscious. Goat Man is a terror. Klacky probably is a nice guy.
And finally, he’s got some purple. It’s a light, blueish purple, but purple nonetheless. It works, though.
Goat Man is articulated just the same as any MOTUC figure – ball-and-socket shoulders and hips, ball-jointed head, swivel biceps, waist, wrists, and shins, hinged elbows, knees, and rocker ankles. None of his weapons require any complex posing, so Goat Man is actually just fine as-is.
Goat Man comes with two accessories, which is awesome because he could have come with none. He didn’t hold anything in his hands in the book, after all. Firstly, he has a hammer – a new design and very well-painted, which looks good enough to put Blade’s swords to shame! Really, this thing is like a gigantic Mjolnir, or maybe a relative of Thorgrim’s hammer from Conan the Barbarian. The metal paint looks metallic, and it has brown leather straps wrapped around the handle. This thing looks pretty vicious, and works really well with Goat Man’s savage design.
His second accessory is the Staff of Avion – no, not the Staff of Avion that came with Icer, the other one! Icer’s staff came fro the cartoon, while this is the emerald staff from the comics. Mattel found a way to get both in our hands without having to re-release Stratos to do so. Nice! The staff is green with a translucent crystal, and looks pretty funky – it could fit with a wizard, but it also gives Goat Man a somewhat more mystical appearance, and is just pretty cool on its own. Mattel could have gotten away with giving this guy nothing, but they came up with one cool new accessory and then added an artifact from the original series, too!
Because you are most likely going to see this guy at a convention, you shyould be able to bypass the $10 or so of shipping, and just get him for $27-ish. That’s pretty normal for a con exclusive.
THINGS TO WATCH OUT FOR:
Nothing! This guy is as sturdy as a politician’s ego.
WHERE TO BUY:
You can try the secondary market and get raked over the coals, or you can spot him at a convention, or you can wait until the end of the year when Mattel will sell off its remaining stock. The choice is yours!
Goat Man is kind of plain and generic, but that’s part of his old-school charm. His bestial, demonic design fits into the He-Man universe quite nicely, and even though he’s a pretty generic nobody from an obscure book, he fits in pretty well with characters like Clawful or Demo-Man. He is solid, accurate, sturdy, and pretty cool overall. Mattel did not choose a crucial character to make as 2014’s travelling convention exclusive, but they definitely picked a cool design!