Life In Plastic: TOY REVIEW: Five Nights At Freddy’s Mini-Figures (Funko)

 

Freddys-NoNoNoNONONO

Hey, did you know that Five Nights At Freddy’s has an official soundtrack?  Apparently, it’s just eighty minutes of someone screaming “No no no no NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!”

Freddys

 

Yeah. Chuck E. Cheese is a deathtrap. Fun fact: Both my sister and myself, when we were ittle, got lost at Chuck E Cheese, which inspired our parents to forever hate the place. And that’s the idea behind Five Nights At Freddy’s – sheer horror delivered to you in the form of animatronic mascots. The game is seriously, genuinely trendy, having started life as a tiny indy game, and now with merchandise filling your local Wal-Mart. Among the figures, keychains, plushies, and pencil toppers, Funko has made vinyl mini figures – roughly 2 1/2″ each – in two packs of four. The first set (Golden Freddy, Chica, Animatronic, Foxy) has been out for a while, while the second set (Freddy, Bonnie, Balloon Boy, Springtrap) is new.

Freddys-GoldenLivingRoom

The basic deal is, you’re a security guard at the titular restaurant, nd depending on how much you delveinto the backstory, either the animatronics are actually crazy, zany murdering androids, or possessed by the ghosts of murdered children. But if they catch you, they stuff you in a spare suit, which is apparently filled with spikes, nails, crossbeams, live wires, and maybe knives for all it matters. You can’t fight back, but the animatronics tend to not move when you’re looking at them (except for when they’re grabbing you). You’ve got security camera to use to check on them, but in the first game, the restaurant is off the grid, and their generator runs out of juice really quickly. So things like the cameras, the lights, and your electric security doors drain power. Once the power goes out… well, yeah. The sequels use totally different mechanics, but the original FnaF is a resource-management sim. use what you have to stay alive, and try not to run out before the end of the night. A lthough the game seems to be built around jump scares (and believe me, they’re effective), it’s a little more complicated than that. It’s the dread leading up to a jump scare that gets you, as well as that feeling of helplesness. In most horror games, you can kill or evade the monsters. In this one, you can only fend them off and delay them, little by little, before the inevitable comes. It’s like being a little kid, sure that monsters are going to come out of the closet the moment you stop staring at it. It’s no surprise that that’s the plot of one of the sequels. But anyway, let’s have a look at these figures… shall we? They are all articulated in the neck, with the exception of Golden Freddy and possibly Springtrap – my Springtrap might just have a stuck joint.

Freddys-Freddy

FREDDY
As the restaurant mascot, Freddy Fazbear reallys houldn’t be as creepy as he is. Seriously, even out in broad daylight and without the whole murder subtext, there’s just something wrong with those eyes. Although Freddy’s importance varies game by game, but in the first one, he’s clearly the biggest threat. Freddy spends the first few nights watching you, and not trying to kill you. And then, when he activates, he starts using strategies borrowed from all the other animatronics, as well as some new tactics designed to exploit your weakness. He even gloats when the power goes out, singing a little song before killing you. At the game’s hardest difficulty, that’s the only way to survive – hoping that Freddy’s song will take too long, and run out the clock. You wanna talk about tension? Yeah. We won’t mention how he spends most of the game hidden in the shadows, only visible on your securit feed by the lights in his eyes. Wait, I just mentioned that.

Freddys-FreddyDark

The figure ain’t bad, and although the small scale does limit the level of detail shown, it’s not like Freddy’s design was ever all that complex. He is missing the handprint on his face, but that thing was barely noticeable to begin with, being only a tiny discoloration. He’s got some good paint detail on his sculpt, too – notice the dirt on his fur, for example. It’s kind of odd that he didn’t come out until the second set, but there you go.

Freddys-Bonnie

BONNIE
The developer’s favorite animatronic, Bonnie is a (male?!?) bunny rabbiit, and the “weakest” of your enemies in the game – he and Chica attack first, most often, and take the most basic tactics. That said, Bonnie isn’t exactly non-creepy. When you see him outside your door… well, yeah.

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Bonnie has his guitar, which fits his “official” role on-stage, though it should be noted that he does not carry it when he’s trying to murder you. Ah, well.

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CHICA
“Let’s Eat!” Well, now you know Chica’s role onstage. In-game, she’s kind of like an intermediate version of Bonnie. Similar strategies, slightly more aggressive, and charges the other door. When they tag-team, it can get quite tense. I don’t want to know why an animatronic chick has monster murder teeth.

Freddys-ChikaLetsEat

Chica comes with Mr. Cupcake, which does not play an active role (sorta – see the sequels), but just look at those evil, murderous eyes! And what’s this cupcake doing, encouraging you to eat? “Let’s eat everybody else!” Seriously, it’s goading us all to murder. You can feel it… can’t you? Can’t you?

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FOXY
Foxy – also male, despite the name – is the game’s way of telling you that not all of your enemies behave just like Bonnie and Chica. Foxy is also the only animatronic who you see moing (outside of the jump scare death scenes). And his design is just rather odd. Yeah, he’s a pirate, but more importantly, his animatronic has clearly been allowed to rot and go dilapidated, turning him into a cyborg terminator pirate fox. I’m sure kids will love that.

Freddys-FoxyCurtain

For the most part, Foxy hides behind the curtain to his Pirate’s Cove. Only, you need to keep checking him – if you leave the cove alone, he eventually comes running for you, and you have to slam your doors shut immediately. Seeing Foxy run past one of the security feeds is a great little tension-builder, especially because it means you have like two seconds to save yourself. This fgure is a little more fragile than many of the others, and although Vinyl is usually super-durable, the way it’s used in this line is questionable for visibly-thinner limbs and parts.

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BALLOON BOY
Balloon Boy is one of the new aniamtronics in the second game – techically, they were all redesigned, but he’s brand new – and unique, too. BB is one of the rare animatronics who never directly kills you, though if he sneaks into the office, he will cut the power. Which includes your flashlight for some reason.

Freddys-BalloonBoyBodies

And I’m sorry, but this guy makes Chica look pleasant. What kid wouldn’t be horrified by Chucky Pinocchio? Seriously? Anyway, due to the limitations of thin plastic, his balloon looks more like a lollipop.

Freddys-AnimatronicSkeleton

ANIMATRONIC ENDOSKELETON
The endoskeletons are what you get inside each suit, of course! But you really only see one or two as-is, mostly in the background. There is one, however, in the second game, who never hurts you, and sometimes can block another animatronic by just standing in the way. It’s an odd choice for these figures, considering the undone characters – any of the redesigns from 2, or the Puppet from 2, or even the nightmares in 4. Still, you have your terminator endoskeleton.

Freddys-Terminator

This figure is fragile, so be very careful. Mine popped an arm, though it was an issue of glue and not plastic breaking – still, treat this one with care.

Freddys-GoldenFreddy

GOLDEN FREDDY
The first example of the game’s supernatural element, Golden Freddy is genuinely haunted. Long story, look it up, but he was the original mascot – Fredbear – and the animatronic accidentally bit into a child’s skull, and… none of that matters. What does matter is that you will occasionally see the empty suit just sitting there in your office. What you need to do is immediately look away. Go to the security cameras, stare at the doors, do something, anything – if you keep looking at Golden Freddy, he kills you. just look away and pretend that you saw nothing, and you’ll be fine. So yes, if you saw both Golden Freddy and a Weeping Angel together, you’re screwed.

Freddys-YoureScrewed

Golden Freddy is the only unarticulated figure, and in his unique (only) pose, that makes him pretty cool – he stands out the most in either of these sets, and fits into all sorts of dioramas in horrible, creepy ways.

Freddys-Springtrap

And finally, we have Springtrap. The sole animatronic in the third game, Springtrap is… okay, let’s back up. The third game is about a fake horror exhibit being set up in memoriam of the original Freddy’s. SPringtrap is an old animatronic they found and installed, which happens to contain the dead body of a serial child-murderers who the ghosts forced into one of the suits. Yeah, the games get weirdly complex like that. But all you need to remember is, it’s an old, messed-up, worn-out suit, it’s genuinely haunted, and it’s got a corpse inside it. And although maybe this figure could have looked a little dingier, it’s definitely Springtrap, and pretty honestly creepy. Like, wow. How did they not realize that there was a body in this? You can see the viscera! But Springtrap makes me want to see the Nightmare aniatronics from the fourth game, honestly.

Freddys-SpringtrapDoor

So, overall? The figures look great, but there are a few durability issues. Still, they are actally better than the larger toys, mostly for a few small reasons – you can’t put the 6-inch Golden Freddy in his seated pose, for example. It’ll be interesting to see if there are more sets in the future, too, which would potentially solve some of the odd figure selection issues (like the animatronic, for example). Still, good set!

Freddys-Band

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One response to “Life In Plastic: TOY REVIEW: Five Nights At Freddy’s Mini-Figures (Funko)

  1. Pingback: Life In Plastic: TOY REVIEW: Nightmare Freddy (Five Nights at Freddy’s) | Nerditis·

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