Life In Plastic: TOY REVIEW: Gorelords (Violence Toy)

 

gorelords-prisma

Photo editing done by Prisma.  Cool, huh?  Wha?  Okay, okay, I’ll go back to not photoshopping anything.  Sheesh.

“You got some mail,” said one of my roommates.  “The return address says Violence Toy.”

“Oh, boy!” I said.  “My Gore Lords are in!”

This is why people don’t trust me.

Gorelords are a line of MUSCLE-inspired mini-figures made by Violence Toy – their first foray into minis, rather than larger vinyl pieces.  The most direct comparison I would say is with OMFG – same material, same flesh shade, same slightly-larger-than-MUSCLE-scale, same everything.  But they do go more MUSCLE-esque than others.  For example, the color rnage for these figures is exactly the same as MUSCLE’s, though I purchased a flesh set.  There may someday be a followup with a few colors, but… well, hey.  Flesh is just traditional with these kinds of things.  Each set of three costs $12, and a full set gives a mild discount.  Okay, this is all boilerplate.  Enough of that, let’s look at the FUN.

gorelords-packaged

THE ONLY WAY OUT IS DEATH!!!!!
Yes, this should prepare you for what we are about to see. Great artwork of Trollborg and PsyCops, letting you know of the kinds of monstrosities that lie within. Each set of three figures in this review is a packaged set – I’ll keep ’em in order. Well, ARE YOU READY? AAARE YOU?

gorelords-maggotgagger

MAGGOTGAGGER
Starting off strong, we’ve got Maggotgagger! A horribly slimy fellow, Maggotgagger is not a blob creature – he does in fact have a body, and the ooze covering him is really corpse-rot! If you look carefuly, you can see bones sticking out in key places, as well as some of his accoutrements he wore in life – a bandolier, signifying that perhas he was a soldier before becoming an eyeless, soulless monstrosity.

gorelords-thesuffer

THE SUFFER
One of my favorites, The Suffer is a corpulent gladiator-monster, built and bred for the deathmatch. What is he? Who is he? It does not matter, for he is THE SUFFER. His hands have uneven fingers, he’s left-handed, he has a muffin-top… but it does not matter, for he is THE SUFFER. Honestly, I think he’d make a great accountant. You know, for the firm of Dewey, Roarke, & THE SUFFER.

gorelords-time-gore

TIME-GORE
Time-Gore is somewhat of a hard dude to parse out at first glance. I have no clue where the “time” aspect of his name comes from, but as for the gore? He is clearly wearing somebody’s skin! It’s most evident from the back, actually.

gorelords-time-goreback

That’s a face. Right there. He is wearing someone’s skin, and the face is out of place.

gorelords-docmarauder

DOC MARAUDER
The closest thing this set has to a normal human, Doc Marauder is armed! He’s got two shotguns (one on his back), a crossbow, an eye patch, and a spiked mohawk! Sure, he’s just a human gladiator, but he looks like he killed everybody in Mad Max, and is ready for more! Still, ordinary human, moving on…

gorelords-gumongous

GUMONGOUS
There’s a reason why I made this guy the header. With a name that is sort of a pun on Kumonga/Gumonga (the spider from the Godzilla franchise) and Humongous, Gumungous is a gigantic, misshappen spider-baby hybrid. He’s one of the biggest of the set, and is positively disgusting, with his exposed veins, warts, lumpy flesh, multiple eyes, and limbs! Everything about him is filled with body horror and implied violence, which is all that anybody could ever ask for in a toy.

gorelords-arthur

ARTHUR
My guess is that Gumongous was just too good, which is why they packaged him with two humans. Arthur is art executioner and part bounty hunter, with the simplest, skinniest sculpt in the line. With a shotgun for one hand and a noose for the other, one must wonder why he feels the need to wear an executioner’s mask. It’s not like he can really hide his identity, you know? “Yeah, that must be some other guy with a shotgun hand and a noose hand. And crosshairs on his chest. Not me at all.”

gorelords-murdroid

MURDROID
The shortest of the bunch, Murdroid is absolutely not a three-laws compliant robot. He’s really quite simple, with his chainsaw and scythe arm, and body spikes, but what else does he need to be? Murdroid is a compact little creation of pure malice, and pointy things.

gorelords-quantumwolf

QUANTUM WOLF
He may be lacking a wolf’s snout, but so did the classic Wolfman, right? But, once you look past his torn flesh, you can see what Quantum Wolf clearly is – a cyborg terminator werewolf gremlin! The detailing on his robotic parts are pretty complex, and a great contrast with his seemingly-smooth body. Who knows what sort of quantum dimension this murderous monster comes from, but I think that if he bites you, you also grow metal bits.

gorelords-ichor

ICHOR
Okay, this is Eyedol. The endboss of Killer INstinct (the mid-nineties arcade game. The redone version of Eyedol in the recent remake looks way different) is a two-headed, horned cyclops with satyr legs. You know, a two-headed ripoff of the Sinbad Cyclops. So, Ichor is a copy of a copy… and I wouldn’t have it any other way. You see, way back when, I had a weird dream where I found Goro and Eyedol MUSCLEs, but alas… those do not exist in the real world. OR DO THEY??? One of the Kinkeshi figures coincidentally looks just like Goro, and Ichor is identical to Eyedol. Thus, all these years later, my dream has been… fulfilled. Look at the last picture of this review to see what I mean.

gorelords-psycops

PSYCOPS
So, he’s psychic, a cyclops, and a cop! He also has handcuff nipple rings, so it just may be that he uses his “uniform” for, uh… non-lawful purposes. Ahem. Psycops has personality. Perverted, weird, violent personality, but personality nonetheless. No wonder they picked him to be one of the guys on the packaging, eh?

gorelords-trollborg

TROLLBORG
A freaky, highly-detailed monstrosity, Trollborg is stocky, muscular, and rather tough. Amidst all the scars, you can see how parts of him – including his heart – have been augmented with cybernetics! I wonder if he still takes up real estate under bridges, or if he has to stay out of the water? Eh, it doesn’t matter, because now if he headbutts a billy goat, he will win.

gorelords-snotpile

SNOTPILE
And finally, we’ve got Snotpile! A strange, amorphous creature, Snotpile regardless has a lot of detail, revealing him to be more than a simple being of sludge. Note the distorted face, for example, or the veins and spikes, to give the suggestion of an actual body.

gorelords-snotpileback

And here from behind, you can see what appear to be shards of glass embedded in Snotpile’s body! Where did they come from? How did this happen? Well, it’s up to you to find out! But I think getting ramed by him would hurt a bit, wouldn’t it?

gorelords-fight

So, what shall we say about these figures? At roughly $4 a pop, they are on the cheapr end of the indy/custom mini-figure range, though still not an inconsequential sum. They do come in fantastic colors, though fleshis always a safe tone. But those DESIGNS! These monsters are all grotesque, entertaining, violent, or some combination of the above. No single pack seems to outdo the others, even though I have my personal favorites (who seem to be spread out among the sets). And besides, we finally have Goro and Eyedol MUSCLEs, which is just too crazy for words.

gorelords-goroeyedol

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2 responses to “Life In Plastic: TOY REVIEW: Gorelords (Violence Toy)

  1. I really like these guys! My reviews of the set should start sometime at the end of the week. My favorite set was the Gumongus/ Arthur/ Doc Marauder set. I just love those guys!

  2. Pingback: Life In Plastic: TOY REVIEW: Street Fighter MUSCLE (Super7) | Nerditis·

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